Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The Least Vulnerable Spot

The Least Vulnerable Spot

RICK (played by Humprey Bogart, threatening Capt Renault with a gun):

And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.


That is my least vulnerable spot.

- from Casablanca, one of the best movies of all time

A lady friend asked me an interesting question today: Why are you not a womanizer?

The first thought that popped into my mind was: What makes her so sure that I'm not? That's precisely why they end up as victims of womanizers--they are so guillible!

Well seriously, she was right about me not being a womanizer, but I think the real question that she wanted to ask was: Why are so many men womanizers?

Let me attempt to answer the original question first: I don't womanize not because I'm not attracted to women (hey, I'm definitely straight, OK?) but because it does not make "business sense" to do so. What I mean is that it's simply not worth the price that one has to pay for it. And I'm not talking about the money which inevitably has to lavish on the women, it's also the other resources that have to be consumed: the time, the energy and all the attendant troubles that such a pursuit would surely bring.

And furthermore, there are definitely more important things in life to pursue than chasing skirts. Think of all the fruits of human civilization--all that knowledge, art, music, science, literature and culture that one can spend an entire lifetime enjoying. Surely they are more lasting and satisfying than the transient pleasures of the flesh?

But I'm also certain that many womanizing men would claim that they cannot help themselves because they are merely responding to their natural biological instincts. Are not men supposed to spread their seeds everywhere to propagate the species? It's in our DNA!

Yes, I don't disagree that a great deal of human behaviour is hardcoded in our genes--it is man's "duty" to spread his seeds. But I also believe that as you move further up the evolutionary ladder, you transcend your animal nature and begin to function more on the intellectual and spiritual planes. Therefore the seeds that you should be spreading are not only physical but intellectual and spiritual ones too: you spread memes--thoughts, ideas and insights. And they are so much more potent.

So instead of womanizing, I'd rather blog :-)

Seriously, there's another more important reason why not all men can be womanizers. I have quite a few womanizing friends, so the conclusion that I've come to believe is that to be a real Cassanova, one needs to have a heart like Captain Renault's--it has to be your least vulnerable spot.

One cannot let one's heart fall for a woman if one's only intention in mind is to bed her. If your heart is vulnerable to the emotional charms of a woman, then you are better off being a faithful life partner to one woman--one whom you truly love--and forget about leading a philandering life. Believe me, you'll suffer less that way.

A "professional" philanderer--if he is to remain true to his profession--must never allow himself to fall in love. He must be skillful enough to seduce, and ruthless enough to discard. ("It's beyond my control"). If he allows himself to fall in love, then he must be prepared to pay the price for it.

The womanizer treats women as play-things or sex objects. He gets his pleasure from satisfying his lust for sex and conquest. However the price that he has to pay is onerous: it's a life full of lies, deceit, turmoil and ultimately, loneliness. Simply a ridiculous price to pay for such petty pleasures. Makes no business sense.

"Successful" philanderers I know have a very cold heart. They do not give in to their women's crying, pleading and sulking. If the women choose to leave, let them. If they continue being a nuisance, dump them. There are always an abundant of women out there who are dying to be showered with cheap attention (which they mistake for love) and money (which they can so easily get used to).

Can you be someone like that? Check your heart first. Is it your least vulnerable spot?

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