The Game of Letgo
Another Friday, another day off for me. I'm here in my apartment today, listening to some Mozart sonata, appreciating a respite from the world outside in this oasis of calmness.
Life can be very challenging for many of us, even though most of the time, we lead rather dull lives of being at work with our colleagues and at home with our family members. People are often unhappy because of relationships with their friends, co-workers, bosses, spouses, siblings or children.
One thing that we have to acknowledge is that people are different. No two persons think and feel alike. People operate by completely different paradigms, resulting in very different world-views. Whenever we expect other people to see things the way we do, we inevitably run into disagreements.
We end up resenting people who always go about annoying us with words and actions that we completely disagree with. Families argue over petty little things on a daily basis because they know each other too well, and familiarity over each other's 'shortcomings', inevitably breeds contempt.
People generally can be divided into two broad categories: those who see the glass as half-empty and those who see it as half-full. The half-empty type are perpetually complaining about things: the food is lousy, the service is bad and people around them are not good enough. They are never ever really happy.
Those with a half-full glass mentality are always grateful for what they already have. Even when things are not what they expect, they are hopeful that things will always work out for the best in the end. If everyone is able to cultivate this simple half-full glass attitude, a lot of pain and friction could be avoided.
Having the half-full glass mindset means that we are always trying to see people as good by default. If they do and say things that we disagree with, perhaps they had a bad day or they had been triggered by something that they are sensitive about. Or they know something that we don't. So give them the benefit of the doubt.
Like sportsmen, people can go off-form sometimes. Be forgiving of their momentary lapses. They could be rude, insulting and impossible to deal with. Well, just side-step the person and avoid stepping into the puddle. We can't change other people's behaviour. It's also not our job to do so. If you are a boss who has problematic employees like these, just agree to part ways. They can always find employment elsewhere which could be more conducive to their peculiar style of working.
Family members, on the other hand, are a much trickier lot to handle. We did not choose our parents and siblings and certainly can't fire them at will. We need to take friction among family members as a test of our nimbleness and resilience. Understand that everyone sees the world through different lenses; often they are shaped by their own personal pain.
Empathy is always a good starting point. Self-reflection is also necessary for us to realise that, perhaps we could be partly blamed for the present unhappiness. Perhaps we can correct the situation by adjusting our own behaviour? Be grateful that if we have the power to alleviate a difficult situation through an action that we could affect. Always work within our own sphere of influence. If we can easily will ourselves to lift a hand, we are certainly capable of letting go of a grudge.
It is easy to practise the skill of letting go. Our everyday lives already pose sufficient obstacles for us to identify what it is that we need to let go, and if we have the mental strength to do so.
Search yourself. Identify every pain or dissatisfaction that you are carrying inside. Explore this virtual reality game that's constantly running in your mind. The enemies that you have to eliminate go by names like Pain, Hatred, Grudge, Resentment, Anger. Your weapon is something very subtle: it's a skill which everyone already possess but few use it well: it's called 'letting go'.
Every time you let go of some Hatred, you collect pahala points. And over time you'll find that you can be pretty good at it. The more pahala points you collect, the fitter and healthier you become. So let's go: Let's play this new and exiting game in town called Letgo!
