The Food that is Love
The weather outside is hot today, with the late afternoon sun scorching the road and pavement outside. I'm happy to be cocooned in my cool air-conditioned room, typing these lines. Not feeling exactly sure what to write today but I'll latch on to something in no time.
The mind is always capable of latching on to something quite easily. Especially when that something gives pleasure. When the mind continuously jumps from one thing to another without any purpose, we call that a restless mind. When it latches strongly to a single thing at the expense of others, we call that an obsessive mind.
Both states of mind are undesirable. A restless mind can never focus on a single task and carry it out to completion. An obsessive mind, if applied to a constructive cause, could produce results but it comes at a heavy price. Other important aspects of life would be neglected. If the object of the person's obsession is something negative, it could even lead to self-destruction.
Even though there's a slight difference between obsession and addiction, both are disorders that need to be treated. Obsession could start off harmlessly as a self-imposed discipline or simply fastidiousness. For example, during these times of the pandemic, a lot of people wash their hands frequently. But for those with obsessive compulsive disorders, this hand-washing could be carried out to the extreme. Initially, perhaps fear is the driver behind this behaviour, but after a while, it becomes a compulsive habit.
Addictions on the other hand is driven by pleasure, at least initially. Be it alcohol, cigarettes, food, drugs or porn--anything that stimulates the pleasure circuits of the brain could cause addiction. It is the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine in the brain that gives us a sense of pleasure--the brain's reward mechanism. But when too much dopamine is released continuously, the brain makes adjustments so that it is not overwhelmed, which causes the pleasure-seeker to intensify his indulgence in the substance or activity so that the same level of pleasure can be experienced again.
What we often associate with romantic love could also a form of addiction. Lovers who go through breakups suffer greatly from withdrawal symptoms not unlike those with a substance dependency. And the possibility of relapse is also high--it is not uncommon for lovers to break-up and reconcile many times over the course of a difficult relationship. Even when both parties realize that they are going nowhere they would still continue to see each other to get their regular 'fix'.
Then is it possible to enter into a healthy romantic relationship without descending to the level of addiction?
It is the same as asking whether we can eat or drink without developing a compulsive eating disorder or becoming an alcoholic. We most certainly can: by not over-indulging ourselves, by eating slowly and mindfully, by knowing our limits and by cultivating a sense of gratitude for our food. As healthy food nourishes us, so does true love. And let's drink to that.
