Ego Management

I left office at 5pm sharp today because it was time for a break after working continuously for six hours. It is rare that one gets to work without being interrupted by phone-calls, messages or conversations with colleagues. But today was one of those days when I managed to focus a hundred percent on my work.

Monday as always, is my vegetarian day. I had a salad bowl for dinner and here I am, parked at my Starbucks to do my weekly blog post. You can say, I am generally happy whenever I'm purposeful and productive. Most of my days are kind of like that. I am aware that most people use their blogs to rant about things. I generally do not have such an urge.

Where does this urge to rant come from? Perhaps from pent up anger and frustration. Resentment accumulates easily. We read stupid statements that politicians make, we encounter bad drivers on the road, we deal with difficult people in the course of our work. Usually we don't get to express our anger and dissatisfaction in the course of our day. Hence the need to find an outlet to release them.

Which is well and good. But one must ask oneself: why do resentments build up in first place? Think about it. Why can't feelings of goodwill accumulate instead and we end our day brimming with smiles? Is it because we want to be angry and resentful?

Let's acknowledge this fact: the mind is a filter. We experience the world through the filter of the mind. For most people, this filter is a negative filter--it tends to only admit experiences that trigger anger. But why does this mind-filter prefer anger-inducing experiences over joyful ones?

It is because the ego prefers it. The ego can only sustain itself through a feeling of superiority. We want to be angry at other people so that we can feel that we are better than them. The more we criticize others, the more the ego inflates. The ego is a balloon that needs its daily dose of hot angry air to maintain its shape.

All pain is caused by the ego. Being resentful is painful. Trying to be who you are not is painful. But isn't the human ego an essential part of our psychological makeup? Yes, the ego is part of our personality. In some way, it is why we are born into the world: to work out our in-born ego.

The problem begins when we do not know what is the 'optimum size' of the ego. The ego must be at ease with the world. It is like getting the air pressure on your car tyres right. if you pump it up too much, your car is going to be very bouncy and it might even cause them to burst. Too little air, your drive won't be very smooth.

So the ego is like your tyres. You need just the right amount of pride to keep it at optimum size. It keeps us going in the world without too much friction. If you have too much of it, be prepared for a lot of hard knocks. Good ego management is the key to happiness. Life becomes a much smoother ride that way.