Love and the Forbidden City

Love and the Forbidden City

Cities are like people--some you will grow to love deeply, others you will scarcely find anything of interest and some you downright hate. Jakarta belongs to the first category to me. I've attempted to rationalise and understand my fascination with this city in previous blog entries but still the passion I have for this ramshackle place borders on the irrational.

Well I suppose it is like falling in love: you use more of your heart than your head. Dr M said in his interview with The Star that when one is in love, one can perform all sorts of gymnastics. I suppose I can also indulge in verbal gymnastics and come up with many excuses and reasons as to why I fancy Jakarta. But hey, this is love--it needs no further explanation.

People perceive Jakarta as being a dangerous place. To me it is no more dangerous than any other Third World city in Asia. But then again, what is love without an element of danger?

Now, can one fall in love with more than one person at the same time? Is there another place that evokes the same kind of passion in me? Is there another city that I wouldn't mind living and working in besides Jakarta?

First, let me tackle those that I certainly have no affection for: Hong Kong is one. I like the food but I will never ever work there. Singapore is soulless but it is still better than Hong Kong. And I did spend 4 years of my life in Singapore without too many complaints--mostly because it is so near Malaysia and I could go back as often as I wished. And no, I'm not attracted to Bangkok either--the favourite of many bule/farang/angmoh/Mat Salleh/gweilo expatriates, for obvious reasons.

The other city besides Jakarta that fascinates me is Beijing. But unfortunately my chances of working there is very slim because of my poor (or non-existent) command of Mandarin. Well, maybe I could try and learn it like how I learnt (and am still learning) the Indonesian slang. But somehow I always find Mandarin tough, even though I think it is a beautiful language, especially when spoken with a Beijing accent. It is one of the reasons why I am quite fond of movies by Chinese director, Zhang Yimou.

I've only made brief visits to Beijing on business trips. The first time I landed there, my heart beat faster. It was love at first sight. The air itself seems to be suffused with history: every street corner seems to have a tale to tell and the people have the hardened look of having endured a thousand and one sufferings. On the way to my hotel from the airport, passing through dusty roads and old buildings, I would imagine Ryuichi Sakamoto's score from the Bernardo Bertolucci's Last Emperor playing in the background. (Who was it who sang: "Walk my way...and a thousand violins begin to play..."?)

Because I went there on business trips, I never actually had the opportunity to really visit some of the popular tourist attractions. No, I haven't even visited the Great Wall of China--which requires a day trip outside the city. Beijing today has all the amenities of any modern capital city in the world but it also has something else: a soul. And one falls in love not with physical appearances, but with the intangibilities of the soul.

People who have gone to China on tour packages probably have seen more of the country than me. For example, I have never been successful in visiting the Forbidden City. It is easy to go there--there are in fact two subway stations right beneath it: Tiananmen East and Tiananmen West. But because I am always tied up with meetings and presentations during office hours, I have never been able to make it there before closing time--which is five in the evening.

A couple of times I tried to rush there after work, only to find the gates closed. I am reminded of a scene from The Last Emperor, where the young Emperor Pu Yi, exasperated at not being allowed to step outside the walls of the Forbidden City since his birth, attempted to walk out of the place through its main entrance--only to have the huge doors shut on him by frantic palace guards and eunuchs.

He couldn't go out, I can't get in.

I'm not sure when or if I'll ever get a chance to visit Beijing and the Forbidden City again. But I do realise in life, some loves will have to go unrequited.