Musings of a Malaysian

It has been a while since I've been able to do my pot-of-Earl-Grey routine here in my apartment. But here I am finally, perched in my study loft, overlooking the viridian foliage outside my window, enjoying pleasant sips of hot tea, unwinding with the gentle sound of a Mozart sonata playing on my stereo. This is my spiritual sanctuary, my retreat from the world, my mental pit-stop.

It's Malaysia's Independence Day today. Let me spend some time reflecting on my thoughts as a citizen of Malaysia. I think I've written somewhere in this blog before that Malaysia can be viewed as either a half-empty or half-full cup. If you read social media and listen to political pundits, there are many who think that even characterising Malaysia as a half-full cup is actually being generous, for whatever little that remains is already draining away at an alarming rate.

I used to be quite a patriotic lad, taking a lot of pride in being Malaysian. Don't get me wrong, I still do. I would always call myself a Malaysian first, Chinese--a very distant second. But as I grow older, such nationalistic and ethnic identification becomes less meaningful, if not counter-productive.

In today's global world,  our country of birth and skin colour are but incidental details. We are all, as Carl Sagan puts it so eloquently, "Citizens of the Cosmos". That's how I've always seen myself. 

If I have any identity at all, perhaps it is to carbon-based living beings which had arisen by accident and evolved to who we are today. I belong to that lineage of intelligent apes who could foresee the inevitability of death and spend our time devising endless ways to postpone it. 

At the same time, our complete dominance over other living beings and our exploitation of planetary resources have also put our existence on this planet in peril due to the destruction of our environment which we are a part of.

My concerns are global, even cosmic, rather than nationalistic. Though I want Malaysia to exist for as long as possible, the boundaries of nations are becoming less important. Sadly, I think Malaysia does not represent the best of ethnic and religious diversity, even though we started with all these advantages. Unfortunately we had carelessly allowed that to erode away.

A modern nation today is becoming more like a football club. Talents are recruited globally to build the best team, irrespective of background and skin colour. With our diversity we actually had a head-start and If we had exploited our advantage and built upon it, we could have had the best team in the world.

I'm still a proud Malaysian because I have no other identity; but at the same time I'm also questioning the value of having an identity. Identity is important only as a kind of bonding mechanism--just like how being a Liverpool supporter immediately puts me in kinship with all the fanatical Reds in the world, celebrating every win together, as if we ourselves had a personal hand it its success.

As a Malaysian voter and tax-payer, my existence as a citizen does play a part in the direction and future of the nation. As they like to say, think globally but act locally. But at the same time, as a student of history and human consciousness, I've come to accept the inevitability of change and the ephemeral nature of any human construct. A nation is an artificial construct. It too will disintegrate one day, even one as mighty as the Roman empire, as we have seen.

The Malaysian experience is like the pain and joy of youth. It's a beautiful thing. Let's celebrate and make the best of it. We all suffer the pangs of growing up and have our regrets. but with some luck, we get through this phase unscathed.