Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Art of Letting Go

The Art of Letting Go

How do you forgive someone who has hurt or wronged you? The anger and pain that you feel inside is so intense. How do you make it go away?

I know it is difficult. But you can start by learning how to let go. The currents of Time sweeps everything in its path. Allow it to do its job. Often, it is us who choose not to let go of the pain because we want to use it as a justification to act or behave in a certain way.

It could also be because we crave for pity and sympathy from other people. Pity eases our pain momentarily. So we get addicted to it after a while. Everytime we need a balm for our pain, or feel the need to be recognized for our suffering, we try to elicit pity from others. We do it so instinctively that we don't even notice it.

We must learn the art of letting go. Open your heart, loosen your grip. It should be the simplest thing to do, yet in practice it probably feels exactly the opposite. We must always trust the laws of nature to do its job. Everything fades away through the passage of time. All you need to do is to allow it to happen. Do not reinforce the pain by rehashing the experience over and over again. Remember, everytime we rehash an unpleasant memory, we are merely wallowing in self-pity.

"Take it on the chin and move on", said V.S. Naipaul to Paul Theroux, when their 30 year friendship finally came to an end (recounted beautifully in Theroux's book, Sir Vidia's Shadow).

Sometimes that's what we need to do: take the blow fully on the chin once and forever be done with it.

What about revenge? Isn't it a sign of weakness if we do not fight back?

That's not your job. Leave such dirty work to the one most qualified to do it: God. Just let go. That requires real strength.

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