Saturday, June 04, 2005

The Art of Exhaustion

The Art of Exhaustion

I have been occupied by too much "transactional" work lately. That's usually the case whenever I'm back in KL. But these periods in between projects are the only time for me to get a lot of things done--things that I've had to put off for a long time. So, I'm not complaining.

When I'm on a project, blogging becomes a necessary recreation--a break from my intense work sessions, allowing me to take my mind off IT-related stuff. But I find that running errands back in KL can be even more exhausting than being on a project: the mental strain is less but physically I get so drained that I often collapse in bed at the end of the day and fall asleep in half-a-minute.

My jogging routine has also been disrupted lately due to my travels. I need to get started again this coming week. When I exercise regularly, my energy level goes up tremendously. The solitary activity of jogging also helps to put me in a meditative state of mind. I get a lot of good ideas (including topics for blogging), whenever my mind is quiet, especially when I'm in close communion with nature.

Sleeping late every night also makes it difficult for me to wake up for my early jogging sessions. There's only so many hours in a day. I've been trying to do with six hours of sleep lately but my productivity drops when I don't get enough rest at night. I need to find better ways to rejuvenate myself than to rely on sleep alone. Meditation is one of them.

The other day a friend told me that he finally figured out why he suffers from chronic insomnia: his daytime job is simply too easy! As a result he doesn't feel mentally tired at the end of the day. So he doesn't go through the necessary cycle of waking and working which then leads to mental exhaustion and sleep. All he experiences is a perpetual wakefulness of the mind coupled with physical tiredness. The body wants to rest but the mind can't. It is certainly not a pleasant state to be in!

I don't think I'll ever end up in the kind of situation my friend is experiencing as I am always mentally pursuing something. There's not a single moment of idleness. "Idleness" only comes when I deliberately empty my mind in my meditative moments. Usually a whole day of activity--of any kind--makes me very very exhausted. Right now, I'm feeling quite depleted already. All I need to do is to lie down in bed, and I'll be deep in slumberland in no time!

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