The Wave Equation of Existence

My all-time favourite opening line from a novel has always been the one from Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "One Hundred Years of Solitude". It goes like this:

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

I read the book more than 30 years ago and the magic of that first line still lingers clearly in my mind. In just a simple sentence, so much is conveyed--tragedy (why is he facing the firing squad?), a sense of epic time ("many years later...remember that distant afternoon..."), nostalgia (remembrance of a childhood spent with his father) and wonderment (why was ice such a novelty?).

I'm so glad that they are releasing a miniseries in Netflix based on the book soon. And that very first line itself was cleverly used cinematically as the teaser trailer for the series.  It's a beautiful introduction to this masterpiece of an epic that truly defined the magical realism genre: poignantly whimsical, filled with incidental delights masterfully woven into a thematic fabric of subtle socio-political commentary.  It is a multi-generational tale of the Buendia family set in the fictitious town of Mocondo. The trailer made me want to read the book again and I'll sure I'm derive so much more insight from a repeat read.

Similarly with books which I had read during my teenage years like Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird". I was probably too young to understand the Southern racism theme in the novel then, but I thoroughly enjoyed the world as seen from the point of view of a child, one with another memorable first line: When he was nearly thirteen my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow. 

So much of who I am is shaped by the books I've read and movies that I've seen.  Maybe they awaken the archetypes in my subconscious which I resonate strongly with. Our genes determine a lot of our characteristics--physical, emotional and intellectual. But sometimes these genes are not able to find their expression due to the limiting factor of the environment. The environment serves up the "boundary conditions" that determine the possible solutions to the wave equation of our existence.

External content from books and movies are like excitation energy that rouses our dormant genes and push them into full expression. While philosophers debate the existence or non-existence of Free Will, we'll continue to live the only way we know, as no matter how much you scratch your head and deliberate, you will always end up with the present moment and doing the things you are doing.

You are the unfolding expression of your genes, like a flower opening up into full bloom, fulfilling your role in the ecosystem of garden which you sprouted from.  Deciding the kind of person that you want to be is part and parcel of that unfolding. The feeling of agency that we have in determining the course of our lives is simply a feature of this causal chain. 

All the beautiful books that had touched me as a child, teenager and adult came into my orbit because I had 'attracted' them through the filter of my mind and also the zillions of micro-decisions that I had made. Driven by the inexorable impulse of life, I had been led to specific shelves in specific bookstores and libraries, resulting in me spending hours and days perusing pages of sentences filled with potent insights.

I can see broad patterns in this grand unfolding; the undulation, the ebb and flow of the elan vital that thrusts one headlong into one's destiny. Embrace it and swim in its warm currents. Life has to be lived through the many irreducible steps of its unfolding computation. And that is the only that we can solve the wave equation of existence.

 

Of Friends, Fuzziness, Fun and the Fount of Creativity

It has been a long week for me, tackling various different issues at work. What a welcome relief it is to be able to finally sit back, relax and reflect, by writing my weekly blog article. I should have written this earlier this morning but I've been catching up with some old friends over lunch.

Sometimes social activities would disrupt my weekend routine of writing and reading but it's a welcome change. Exchanging views with friends is a great learning experience. We all see life from different perspectives and our own views could be narrow and parochial without us realising it. Simply listening to other people would sometimes force us to reexamine our own beliefs. 

When it comes to the subject of religion or spirituality, everyone resonates to a different set of vocabulary. Those with an engineering or scientific bent would like to think and explain in terms of 'energy' or 'states of mind', which I admittedly have a tendency to do too.  Those who have a more literary or poetic disposition would tend to be receptive to a language that uses words like 'love', 'glory' or 'grace'.  The former speaks to the intellect, the latter, the heart.

I have friends who claim that they are not spiritual at all.  But they all have fallen in love, gotten married and have an idea of what makes a 'good life'. They all appreciate, to various extents, beauty in music and art. To me, when you are capable of love and beauty, you have already entered the spiritual realm. We are all, like it or not, homo spiritus.

We become spiritual the moment we start questioning the meaning of our existence. The need to love and be loved, is the germ of the spiritual impulse. When we admire the vast beauty of the blue ocean, or a view of a landscape from a mountain-top, we are seized by a feeling of awe and grandeur, and ultimately, a yearning for something higher.

There must be something more than this; some grand scheme of things where we are a part of. We long to be connected to it. This hunger for meaning and transcendence--is this simply a quirk of the human intelligence, a spandrel of evolution, almost like a useless by-product?

Or is it our real nature--the driving force behind evolution itself? Something like Schopenhauer's concept of will or Hegel's geist? Any philosophical explanation of the world has to be expressed in human language. And there's where all hell breaks loose. 

Words are never truly objective. Every word has a fuzzy boundary--almost like an electron, which has a position defined probabilistically. We kind of know--or intuit--the meaning of a word and what it most likely means. But no two person can see the same bulls-eye. 

For every word, our 'meaning clouds' do overlap, but when we have many words joined together into sentences, the final outcome could convey something very different in the minds of the speaker and the listener. 

Listening with an open mind means that one is aware of the fuzziness inherent in language and is constantly readjusting one's conceptual framework to accommodate different possibilities.  It is the fuzziness of language that makes it fun, and ultimately serve as the fount of creativity. 

The Virus of Ignorance

I wrote about divine revelation last week, on Revelation Day. This week I'm going to explore why religion can inspire huge swaths of humanity towards greatness, and paradoxically, it is also the reason for violence between believers and non-believers.

Religion unlocks the spiritual dimension in all of us. A little bit of religion can be a dangerous thing, because once the spirit is unleashed, it thinks that it is the mightiest force in the universe.  Like first love, religious feelings can feel very right.  If these passions are channelled towards the right direction, great things can come about. A person can be inspired to greatness, with all his good qualities amplified. Cathedrals and civilisations are built this way.

But if the religious person has insecurities and prejudices, coupled with ignorance, then that little bit of spiritual awakening can turn a person into a bigot. It is easy to be carried away by the romance of religion--that sense of superiority and empowerment that one draws from a community of believers. Religion sometimes short-circuits the mind and turn a person into an ugly zealot, capable of hatred and violence of the most terrible kind.

A religious person who exhibits saintly virtues is one whose innate goodness has been made manifest through the practise religion. Religion accentuates and transform them into powerful qualities that make these souls charismatic leaders of their communities.  But because all humans are ultimately flawed, these elevated beings, if and when they fall, they fall hard.

Good religious leaders are never attention seekers. They are sought after because of their wisdom. But they have the self-awareness and humility to know the limited extent of their knowledge and influence.  They know that truth is strong enough to stand on its own without needing to shout from the pulpit. Wisdom is a tree that bears fruit a the right time. It is not a volcano that erupts violently with fire and brimstone.

All religions are man-made institutions. They are built to perpetuate some spiritual truths, which are not the monopoly of any group or sect.  Like different schools of art or music, they celebrate different aspects of the aesthetic impulse. It is also no surprise that all religions inspired great works of art and architecture. Religion expands the realm of consciousness and offers us glimpses of beauty and insight, that transcends the seemingly meaningless world of the mundane.

The true spiritual seeker, like an astute connoisseur of art, seeks and celebrates all religious traditions, appreciating them as diverse expressions of the divine spirit. Doctrinal differences are nothing but a testimony to the richness of human experience and our feeble attempts to express its verisimilitude.

Religion, art, culture and politics are part of the humanity. And as human beings, we live to socialise, philosophise and romanticise. Sometimes we get caught up in the passionate fervour of it all; sometimes we bicker foolishly over trivialities and other times we are completely blinded by our intolerance and ignorance that we are driven to settle them with blood. 

Sadly, ignorance is often spread by preachers in the name of religion. Dogma, superstition and bigotry are implanted into eager young minds, seeking meaning and truth. Ignorance, couched in religious garb, is a virus that kills, literally. Only an open mind, exposed to the whole gamut of human knowledge, acquires the resistance against such attacks. May we all have the strength and resilience to acquire the immunity that is wisdom.

Reflections on Revelations

Today is a public holiday because it is Nuzul Al Quran or the Quran Revelation Day--the day when Muslims celebrate the Prophet Muhammad's first revelation from God through the Angel Gabriel at the cave of Hira' in the year 610 CE.

Iqra!--was the first word uttered by the Angel Gabriel. This is usually translated as 'read' or 'recite'.  Read what? I don't know how to read! This was the first shocked reaction of Muhammad, who was then nothing but an ordinary Arab merchant, wise, pious and trustworthy, but quite illiterate. 

The Angel Gabriel, comforted the cowering man and then proclaimed the famous first five verses:

Read in the name of your Lord who created--

Created man from a clinging substance.

Read, and your Lord is most Generous--

He who taught by the pen--

Taught man that which he knew not.

You can find these verses in the Quran today in chapter or Surah 96, called 'Al-Alaq'. Why are they not in chapter 1 of the Holy Book itself? Well, the chapters of the Quran are not arranged in the chronological order as they were revealed to the Prophet Muhammad over a period of 23 years. This was based on historical and practical reasons. In the beginning the Quran was memorised and transmitted orally.  The arrangement, as it was passed down, was probably arranged based on thematic coherence and linguistic flow.  

I like the three key words that immediately strike the mind with powerful imagery when we read these verses: 'read', 'clinging substance' and 'pen'--iqra, alaq and qalam.   The 'clinging substance' -- al-alaq--from which the surah takes its name, is sometimes translated as 'clot'. It reminds us of the humble origin of man as nothing but a sticky lump of blood, an embryo clinging to the wall of the uterus. The act of reading and the instrument of the pen (by which God taught Man), symbolises the heights of knowledge and wisdom which that clinging substance could ultimately aspire to.

The task for Man as decreed by God is immediately conveyed: rise from ignorance to enlightenment. Reading and writing are indeed the hallmarks of a great civilisation. And the inspiration from the written verses of the Quran, together with their stirring recitations have certainly roused the nomadic tribes of Arabia into a conquering force, creating a civilisation and empire, which at its heights covered great portions of the three continents of Europe, Africa and Asia.

Though I do not know Arabic, let alone the classical version used in the Quran, I could see how poetic and powerful its verses are. I hear the rousing call of azan and sometimes prayers broadcasted from the nearby mosque, every morning while lying in bed. The sound and rhythm of the recitation alone carries deep resonance.

Karen Armstrong, author of A History of God and many other books on religion including a biography of Muhammad, wrote that it was like Muhammad had invented a new literary form--the verses of the Quran struck the minds of the Arabic speaker deeply and emotionally. 

Having the aesthetic sense stirred, is the first sign of spiritual awakening.  The most direct path to the spiritual source of the human psyche is through sound. And the poetic verses of the Quran, combining meaning, imagery and sound, ignites the divine spark in the reader and listener.

We humans have different constitutions and dispositions. Like the Prophet Muhammad, we will all find one or many moments in our lives which completely shift our entire perspective. All of us receive revelations; just that sometimes they pass right through us, because or we did not notice them or are plainly ignorant. So what's the remedy for that? 

Simple: Iqra!

The Art of Acceptance

I'm happy that I don't have to spend much of my weekend on my day job, unlike in the past.  It had been my practice to reserve my weekends for 'real work' -- work that requires deep thought and concentration. The weekdays are for transactional activities--meetings and emails mostly. But these days, my work is chiefly transactional and this is great because I don't have to carry them over to the weekend.

However today, because there's some scheduled maintenance work, I had to spend the early part of the afternoon working online. Now that it's done, I'm free to blog, or as I like to put it: taking my keyboard fingers for a walk.

Maybe these fingers have an intelligence of their own. They bring me wherever they choose to go. Dear fingers, where are you leading me now? Clickety-click, clickety-click...let's write about...'Acceptance'. Hmm, why this topic and what do I have to say about it? 

I've certainly written about this subject before. But lately I've been listening to a lot of people complaining about the hot weather. Well, the temperature usually soars this time of the year, every year. But why do people still complain about it, as if it is the first time that they are experiencing it? 

I noticed that it is hot, but not particularly hotter than any previous years. I don't suffer any major discomfort from it. True, I have my air-conditioning running most of the time while at work but when I'm outdoors, I do sweat profusely, and feel the burning heat of our tropical sun.

I simply acknowledge it and move on. Complaining doesn't make the heat wave go away. Acceptance does. I realised that life is miserable for a lot of people because they fuss over things that they have no control over. We can influence many other things in our lives but not the weather. You can't prevent yourself from sweating, no matter how hard you try. Sweating is certainly uncomfortable but if you keep on harping on it, you'll only make yourself miserable.

Acceptance is a skill that people need to cultivate. It may sound like a simple thing, but it is not because we are so used to not accepting the situation as it is and strive to change it. Yes, I agree that the world is a better place because many enterprising people chose not to accept things as they are and strive to create a better one. What I'm highlighting is that one must be wise in choosing what to accept and not. 

For example, any misfortune that befalls us, be it an illness, loss of a loved one or financial loss, could cause us enormous emotional distress. This is expected and unavoidable. If one were to continuously wallow in despair or self-pity, at some point it becomes self-defeating. You would only create more harm to your physical and mental health.

All pain has a life-cyle. Allow it to reach its fullness and let it decay gracefully. Acceptance is simply acknowledging this natural process and letting it play itself out. Karma works itself out completely and optimally when given the chance. This also applies to simple discomforts like the hot weather. Accept it, and immediately your mind moves on to more important things. Why complain and give it the time and energy that it does not deserve? Take the necessary action to reduce the discomfort, if you need to. Otherwise, save the energy for more important things.

Through acceptance, one becomes 'life-dynamic'--like how a fish moves through water. One senses discomfort and obstacles, acknowledges them and perform the necessary action to minimise their effects. Acceptance is optimisation at work. Acceptance is an art which we all need to practice. And be grateful that life always provides sufficient discomforts for you to hone it to perfection. 

Bibliophilic Bouts

I was at the barber just now and I had to wait a short while for my turn. As always, waiting is never an issue as it means that I am pleasantly rewarded with some reading time. 

How often do we complain that we do not have the time to indulge in our hobbies. Well, if reading happens to be your pastime of choice, then you're in luck. You can squeeze it into the interstices of your life--all those tiny amount of time in between major events or tasks which make up your day.

Reading to me is like eating. Every sentence is a morsel of food, which you savour with your mind. And you'd relish it exactly like a tantalising piece of delicacy dropped into your salivating mouth. Only that the nourishment from the former is, I would argue, exceeds anything that is consumed orally.

I do not only read everywhere, I've also acquired the habit of annotating the pages of my book with a pencil. And I'm not doing it because I have to mark up facts for some research project, just that reading and annotating is my way of fully concentrating and enjoying every word and sentence that the author has carefully and painstakingly assembled for my edification. 

I know, it's a peculiar sight these days to find anyone reading in public, what more with a 2B pencil in hand, dissecting blocks of text on a piece of printed page. And to extend the food analogy further: my pencil is like an eating utensil--not unlike a pair of chopsticks--picking out and shoving bite-sized chunks of savoury delights into my mind.

An annotated page immediately becomes mine: it is the conquered terrain, which I the reader-traveller had ploughed through, with some effort. Experiences movingly carved with the scalpel of my pencil.  The marginalia becomes the journal of my reading life. Thoughts, events and silent chuckles captured in black scrawls, marking the width and breadth of my bibliophilic realm, 

I read for the sheer pleasure of consuming text; the nourishments of its contents is an additional bonus which my mind is rewarded with. And over time, I realised that my sensitivity to words and their multi-various meanings becomes greatly enhanced.  My mental tastebuds have acquired aptitudes in ever-expanding dimensions, opening vistas of delights hitherto unknown.

Ah, I'm waxing lyrical again about the ecstatic joys of reading, especially the form that involves the dead-tree variety--this gluttony of books, which I succumb, unashamedly to; this hill of hedonism which I willingly die on. I do not claim any intellectual or moral superiority--it is simply an indulgence, pure and simple.

So do not attempt to save me from this addiction which had and is consuming my life. This junkie seeks no pity nor sympathy. I read, therefore I am. And occasionally I write too, in blog articles like these here. But these are just the sober interludes between my blissful bouts of bibliophilia.

Grumblings and Gratitude

Today I've decided not to write anything ponderous and pseudo-philosophical, which is my usual staple of weekly ramblings. There are a lot of fun subjects that people in social media write about. Why can't I be like them sometimes? Rave about the best nasi lemak in town; comment on the latest 3R (race, royalty and religion) meme or just bitch about things in general?

What are the everyday things that annoy me? Let me think. I've trained myself to look at the positive side of things that I've gotten into the habit of ignoring anything that annoys me.  But I do get annoyed sometimes. For example, whenever I'm driving and someone honks loudly and unnecessarily. It perturbs me but I tend to let it go immediately.  

I rarely use the horn and if I do, I often apply my well-practiced staccato toot. To me the car horn is one feature that no manufacturer has gotten right. Why can't we have a polite horn--a doorbell-like sound that says 'excuse me', instead of that loud blare that screams "fuck off" or "stupid asshole"?  What we need is the horn equivalent of a small and big flush, like what you see on some eco-friendly toilets. Raising your voice (or horn) should never be your default mode, well, unless you are driving in India. Then it's a different story, for there driving is a social experience. Honking is a way to announce and acknowledge the presence of others on the road.

Youtube ads used to annoy me too but I paid my way out of it by subscribing to its premium version. It's one subscription which I think is worth it because it saves one a lot of time, and spares the mind of a lot of irritating brags by self-styled gurus peddling their get-rich-quick secrets.

Some banking apps annoy me because they don't make things easy for you. Logging in is always a challenge and when you do succeed, they clutter your screen with pop-up ads and security warnings. And these days, the trend is to display accounts in a fancy carousel, which requires you to scroll horizontally. The combination of horizontal and vertical scrolling, though cool, is annoying, at least to me. 

But having been a developer myself, I know how these UI decisions are arrived upon. Most product owners prioritise form over function. Product features are decided by a committee of people. They are just interested to check all the boxes which the management had decided. Developers code features blindly and unquestioningly. And when you have been viewing and testing your UI for months, you fail to see how it would look to someone using it for the first time. What does the user see first?  A few things need to stand out from the clutter. These have to be the few things that the user is interested in. Do your selling later. Let the user get on with the main functions of the app. 

In the brick-and-mortar world, there are service establishments that fall to the same trap of not prioritising the customer. There are some restaurants that annoyed me by serving hot tea in a paper cup, when the main course is served in nice plates and stainless steel cutlery. I can understand if you are a fast-food restaurant, but if you are charging me premium prices in a cosy dine-in place, I think it is an affront to serve hot drinks, and tea especially, in a paper cup.

At the end of the day, whenever we reflect upon all these little annoyances, we should also remind ourselves to be grateful for being able to enjoy all these little luxuries and conveniences of life. At least we are able to afford them and be able to drive, surf, bank and eat in relative comfort.  Find something to be grateful about every time you grumble. You will find that Gratitude is the great dissolver of annoyances.