Life's Most Basic Pleasures

Life's Most Basic Pleasures

"We do not ask for what useful purpose the birds do sing, for song is their pleasure since they were created for singing. Similarily, we ought not to ask why the human mind troubles to fathom the secrets of the heavens...The diversity of the phenomena of Nature is so great, and the treasures hidden in the heavens so rich, precisely in order that the human mind shall never be lacking in fresh nourishment"

- Johannes Kepler

Isn't Monday a great day? It's the start of a brand new week and there's always a sense of urgency on the first day. I always get lots of e-mails on Monday. Almost half the day will be spent replying to them, not to mention attending to that other type of communication that's gaining equal if not even more importance: SMS.

Finally all the noise of the day has subsided and I'm safe and sound in my cluttered little room in Subang Jaya, ready to blog and do a checkpoint before I go to bed.

I'm sure, we all have been asked this question before: What is it that makes you want to get out of bed every morning?

Well, I'd rather remain in bed but I have to go to work and make a living.

I'll be in serious trouble if I don't go to work. I'll lose my job.

I have no choice.

These are some of the typical answers. Perhaps once in a while, you'll hear that highly motivated salesman who'll tell you that he wakes up every morning with a great sense of anticipation that he's one day closer to his million dollar deal.

For me, I don't belong to either extreme. My personal motivation is simple: It's the thought that I will be a better person today compared to who I was yesterday.

It gives me a thrill everytime to know that I wake up everyday richer in life's experiences. But how can I be so sure that I'm "richer"? To me this is something inevitable: We have accumulated another day of data to be extracted and analyzed. What was it that we did right yesterday? What mistakes have we made? What can we learn from them? So we will act today with more information and knowledge compared to yesterday. Every experience is a learning experience. Even the mundane ones.

Some people tell me that they don't learn anything from their job anymore. It's so boring and routine. I already know everything that needs to be known to do my job.

But how is that possible? Why must we allow ourselves to degenerate into such a state? We can always stretch our boundaries if we choose to, can't we? There's always something to learn. Don't tell me you know everything about the industry that you are working in. You might be an expert in your narrow little field, but why should you be contented with that? Even if you are completely disinterested in the work that you are doing, there are other areas that you can pursue. For example: How well do you know God?

Well, maybe you are not interested in that either. That's OK. Then ask yourself: how well do you know your colleague sitting in the next cubicle? What can you learn from him or her? Or your spouse? Or your children? Do you know them as well as you should? We can learn so much from the people around us because they are "interactive books".

There's always something to learn in life. Today we hear leaders preach about life-long learning because we are living in such a competitive world. We must be constantly acquiring new skillsets to survive. But I don't like to look at it from such an economic angle. Learning to me ranks together with the other basic biological functions such as eating (and defecating), sleeping and mating.

I've said it many times before and I'll say it again: to live is to learn. Period. Have I learned anything new today? You bet. Will I learn something new tomorrow? Definitely.

What's so great about learning? Of what use is it?

Let me answer that with another question: Of what use is eating, sleeping or mating?

I don't really care. It's simply pleasurable.

The Greatest Inflexion Point

I always reread the previous week's article before writing a new one.  Often, I would feel the need to fix spelling mistakes, clumsy sentences and the ubiquitous grammatical errors. I would try not to tamper with them too much because it's important to keep the blog as a raw record of my thoughts at the specific moment in time. Very often, I find myself surprised by my very own insights. How did I come up with that?

I've also realised that a blog is a good historical record of the evolution of my thinking and ideas. I'm keeping this very old blog as a raw depository of my thoughts, which I can further refine and mine for future writings if I choose to do so. 

With writing easily done using AI these days, a human-written blog perhaps has a certain unique value, like handicraft. One day, we will talk of an age when all writing was generated directly by the human brain, like how we marvel at the hand-tailored clothes used by our forefathers.

We actually live in an exciting time, because we are on the cusp of having AI that is capable of taking over most of the white-collar jobs. I am generally optimistic about the future of humanity, and do not believe that artificial general intelligence (AGI) will make us slaves to our machine overlords. But I am also realistic enough to know that we are not the sole inheritors of Mother Earth. 

The rise of homo sapiens as the custodian of this planet is purely accidental. We humans happen to have the best brains right now, and even with our intelligence, we are still struggling to coexist harmoniously with our environment. Hopefully, our AI compatriots will have the wisdom to learn from our mistakes.

As I see it, this year will be a pivotal year for AI, because progress is moving at an exponential pace. AI is capable of improving itself, and it is a virtuous cycle that cannot be stopped any longer. We will have to accept the fact that they will become, if not already, the better programmers and designers. We humans, tend to think too highly of ourselves.  And if we continue to do so, we will be completely blindsided and taken by surprise.

To me, AI has intensified our lives because everything is moving at a faster pace now. The speed of the human brain is currently the bottleneck. We can only live life at a finite speed: how fast can you consume information? All of life's pleasures come from stimulations to our brains and nervous systems. Our neurons can only process information at 10 bits per second, according to this paper. We cannot beat the limitations of our biology, but we can certainly reduce wastage.

As humans, we tend to waste a lot of time and energy on things that do not matter. Reclaim those wasted CPU cycles to learn and experience new things; make sure you focus on things that improve you as a person. 20 years ago, I wrote this blog article: Life's Most Basic Pleasure, stating unequivocally that to live is to learn, because learning is one of the greatest pleasures of life.

Today, my best learning companion is AI. It is there to help me with any topic that I choose to explore. It explains things in a way that I could understand, with analogies and comparisons. It is the best teacher to me, and the miracle is that it is available to all of us almost for free. 

I'm glad that we are living at this great, if not the greatest of humanity's inflexion points, when machines are surpassing us in intelligence. My only hope is that we could co-evolve in pursuit of greater knowledge and wisdom. And the universe will certainly be better for it.

The Religious Impulse

The Religious Impulse

I got hold of a smart card reader the other day and checked the contents of my MyKad: it had all my information recorded correctly. Even my TIADA AGAMA (no religion) status. Perfect.

Let's talk a bit about religion. I've written about religion as being a structure to guide the follower on the path towards spiritual awakening. Structures can either be liberating or restrictive, depending on how they are applied. A cage and a ladder are both structures. One confines, the other elevates.

All religions in this world started as ladders, built by divinely inspired men--they all help us to climb to greater spiritual heights. But over time these formal religions have been turned by their very followers into cages, confining our thinking and poisoning us with dogmas and superstitions. The more I explore, the more I find the differences between the popular religions trivial. Sure, there are lots of differences in terms of rules, rituals and doctrines. But these are not the most important aspects of religion.

Some people think that without religion, we will have no morals and society will plunge into decadence. I'm of the opinion that we don't need religion to teach us morals. Some scientists even believe that the moral sense is in-built in our biology. We don't need a divine book to tell us what is good and what is bad. An immoral society self-destructs over time. A society exists because a certain critical mass of the population adheres to an acceptable standard of moral conduct. Those who don't will eliminate themselves sooner or later.

Religion serves something higher than regulating moral conduct in a society. There is also no need to invent religion just to have pre-cooked answers to pseudo-philosophical questions such as, "What happens after death?" "Where do we come from", "What is the purpose of our existence?"

We can argue all our lives and fight wars among ourselves about these things and still not come to a conclusive answer. It is pointless. Choose your favourite religious book, and start defending its "truth". Soon you will fine, there's no end to it: One "truth" is as good as another, if such "truths" are important at all.

Then of what purpose is religion?

Let me answer that with another question: Why do rivers flow to the sea?

Religion is a response to a universal urge--the urge to understand and transcend existence. Where does this urge come from? Why can't we lead happy and contented lives without all the burdensome obligations, guilt and conflicts created by religion?

Like it or not, there is this spiritual impulse inside all of us. Even the most lustful and brutish man has it. It is this divine impulse that drives us forward and shape us into who we are now: a suffering creature, with all the angst, guilt and fear in us, because we have not been able to respond in the best manner to this impulse.

You could be ambitious, selfish, vain and violent. But it is your own personal choice of actions that make you so, in response to an urge to find "meaning". The urge gives you that energy, pushing you forward, but you are not conscious of it as something spiritual. It is merely raw energy and desire to you. So you tell yourself: I want all this because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good. My life is "meaningful" because I spend my life pursuing what I enjoy.

So your surge forward blindly, with no consciousness of your soul. And because your choice of actions are imperfect, energy is lost as "friction". And this is invariably manifested as pain. The pain or friction is but a signal telling you that you are off course; it lets you know that you are not utilizing your energy in the most optimum fashion. After a while, after suffering so much pain, you begin to learn to fine-tune your responses to this impulse.

Ultimately all that pain that you go through will help you correct your course. No matter how much a river meanders or deviates from that shortest path to the sea, it will still find its way there. Some are forced to take a more torturous path because of the difficult terrain that they find themselves in. But all will obey the same natural laws of energy and gravitation.

The whole history of human civilisation--our quest for glory, power and happiness--is a response to this spiritual impulse. Collectively, humanity has suffered great pains and will continue to suffer more, until we learn to cast aside our selfish desires and learn to live as a single species, with a common destiny.

Why does our universe have this spiritual impulse to evolve, to create, to grow, to suffer and finally to return back to its source?

The fact that you are asking such questions shows that you are already a part of this quest or movement--that unfolding process that ultimately seeks to return to its source. Any answer we attempt to come up with now will still fall short because we are looking for intellectual answers. Intelligence is merely a quality of the mind, and the mind is another by-product of the unfolding universe. We need to transcend the mind and intelligence itself.

All our minds are at difference stages of evolution, you will find some answers that pleases you now but as you learn and experience more, you will find such answers unsatisfactory. That's how the mind works. It is an imperfect instrument but it is still the best tool for exploring our inner world because it can be continously refined.

How then shall we respond to this spiritual urge then?

Self-realization, as always is the first step. You and everyone else in the universe are part of this quest. Everyone is an explorer. No one has all the complete answers. So move step by step. Examine every thought that comes into your mind. Examine every consequence of your action. Fine-tune them. Do not impose your views on others because your knowledge is gained from your limited view of the world, with the limited instrument of your imperfect mind.

Continuous examination of one's thoughts and actions. Awareness. Stillness. Meditation. These are the things that will bring forth spiritual realization. Formal religions are merely "best practices". Ultimately, you, as an existential being, will have to face this spiritual quest alone, with the only instruments that you possess--your mind and your body.

Through constant and regular practice, layer after layer of ignorance will be peeled away, and together with it, the dissolution of the ego. And slowly, you will find that the divine soul within will be revealed to you ultimately, and then you will face God alone, and see Him, in all His glorious splendour.

The Ultimate Game

Starting this sentence on a blank page, on a Friday afternoon, here in Cyberjaya. What do you do when you are not sure what to write? You just listen to the silence and type out the words that come into your mind.

This week has been monumental for Malaysians. Our former PM Najib Razak has to finally start serving his 12-year jail term after the Federal Court upheld his conviction for graft. Schadenfreude is never my thing, instead it got me into thinking how anyone would be able to cope with life in prison.

I often do these thought experiments myself. How would I fare, if I were to end up in prison? One would think that this is a far-fetch possibility for most people. But our former PM would have thought the same thing 5 years ago when he was in power. So it is a good lesson in humility to put yourself in the shoes of a person who ends up being incarcerated, cut off from the world and living without the usual comforts even the most ordinary citizen enjoys--a cellphone, internet connection and a simple meal at the local mamak restaurant.

It is easy to get accustomed to luxury and comfort. Losing it is a different thing. Always remember that every new comfort that you could afford to acquire, offers both pleasure and pain. The pleasure is obvious--it is what motivated you to want to have it in first place.  The obvious pain is probably the money that you have to pay to buy it.

If you could own a big country house in a quiet gated community, equipped with all the latest amenities, furnished to reflect your taste and personality, wouldn't you have a wonderful life with your family living there? That of course would be the pleasure part. The pain comes into the picture when you have to start worrying about maintenance of the place. Termites want to have a good life too. Nature has to obey the conversation of energy and the Second Law of Thermodynamics. 

You'll need to spend time finding people to fix the plumbing, mend the leaking roof, sweep the floor, remove leaves from the gutter and trim the leafy tree that leans beautifully, providing shade for your favourite garden bench.  

Is it possible for us to lean to 'enjoy' the pain? If you are a DIY person, fixing your house on weekends could a hobby which you could enjoy. That too requires you to pay with time and energy, which should have been spent playing soccer with friends or taking your kids to the theme park.

The best is to have an attitude of gratitude towards whatever that you've been blessed with and understand that they could be yanked away from you at any moment. This will ensure that you are are not too attached to your pleasures. Whatever you own is not yours. All pleasures are given on a lease. You'll have to pay rental for it.

I was so happy living in Jakarta in a small hotel room for 2 years. Some thought that was a bit of a prison cell: how could one live like that? But that room on the seventh floor was heaven to me: I came home every day from work to see my place spick-and-span. I had a bed, a desk, a closet, bathroom and TV. What more could one need in life? 

What price did I have to pay to enjoy that hassle-free life? The simplest of pain: money. Of course my company paid for it, but that was part of my compensation package and could have been given to me too in cash as an allowance. It was money that could have been saved to buy a place of my own.

How simple if every inconvenience in life can be quantified in dollars and cents. But life is never like that. We covet for things that have hidden, intangible costs. They cost us emotional and psychological pain. And that is the price of love and fame. 

Do we shy away from wanting what every normal human being yearns for--love, respect, success and companionship? No. But be clear-eyed about it. Go for what you crave for, because that is your existential purpose of life. You cannot defer the lessons that you have to learn the hard way. It is better to face them with eyes wide open and take every blow on the chin. 

After some time, you'll see how much more efficient it is to learn life's lessons directly by tackling craving itself. To let go of one's cravings is a pain which only the very strong can take.  You'll have to qualify for it first, by taking the knocks and blows of everyday life head-on. But remember, that is the ultimate game.

Living to Learn

Sometimes I think the only valuable skill that I picked up from my university education is the ability to learn up a new subject fast. I studied at a local university where we only had to sit for one all-important exam at the end of the year.

I was never one who paid attention in class, even though I did attend most of the lectures. I would have scant lectures notes which served as rough guides to the subjects I took. I found lectures dull and tiresome. I spent most of my time exploring the library--and my alma mater has a pretty good one. The library was a vast universe of knowledge which I devoured greedily.

Like how I treat my job now, I often gave priority to the pursuit of my other interests--art, literature, philosophy, religion, poetry and science. I left the study of my compulsory subjects to the end of the year--right before my exams.

It was during those four years that I picked up the skill to learn up an entire course within one month. It was always one long suffering month--one filled with panic and anxiety bordering on the suicidal. Every minute and hour then would be spent buried in textbooks and in the frantic copying of missing lecture notes.

But over the years I had perfected the task to an art. I knew how to grasp the essentials of a subject and was able to chart a study plan which allowed me to peak just at the right time--ensuring all the relevant facts are "cached" in my memory the night before the exam.

In my present job as an IT professional, I often find myself in customer situations where I am forced to tackle subjects that I'm not familiar with. Often I have to present to tough audiences who will give me a tough grilling on the subject. But those university years of mine had trained me well; I am always prepared to tackle something new because I learnt how to learn.

There is no way that four years of university education or any amount of professional training can prepare one as a competent IT professional. Most of the things have to be learnt along the way, in a field which change is the only constant (pardon the cliche).

My fellow university mate and long-time colleague, Chua, often laments about the poor quality of engineers that we get these days. They often complain that they are not "trained" to do the tasks that they are asked to do. It is an attitude that perplexes us. How can one be "trained" for everything?

In the end, it is our ability to learn continuously that keeps us afloat. We never stop learning. There is no comfort zone where one could sink into and luxuriate for the rest of one's life. To live is to learn. And that is the only qualification that one needs in life.

The Minutiae of Spiritual Maps

Today is the first day of the conditional MCO, where most businesses are allowed to reopen. I see that the traffic on the road has increased significantly. The peace and quiet of the MCO days are over now. It is good that at least some businesses can resume or many would go under. Things have been very tough for a lot of people. As long as everyone takes the necessary social distancing precautions, I think we can manage the situation.

The weakest and the poorest are the most exposed during these difficult times. Those who are more fortunate must extend out a helping hand. The best kind of help are those that you give instinctively and quietly without having to publicize them. That is the best way to work out your karma. To seek recognition for helping others is to extend the chain of action and reaction. Doing good is just practicing good energy management. You focus all your resources towards the point of need and you move on without having to waste any more time dealing with either praise or blame.

We all need help at one time or another. If we are too proud to seek assistance when we are truly in need, that is also due to the ego. Look inside and see what is that facade that you are trying to project to the world. It costs a lot to maintain it. If you let it go, a lot of healing can occur. Free up the energy and let it find its best mode of expression.

Every religion emphasizes a different aspect of the path. Some focuses on love and forgiveness, which is an 'architecture' that facilitates and outward flow of positive energy. To love is to give without expecting anything in return. This is something that all lovers caught in the intoxication of first love must learn. Romantic love is often selfish, with a lot of expectations on the other party. Only through many iterations of pain, do we learn how to love. In the immortal words of Kahlil Gibran:

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

Love dissolves the ego. The dissolution of the ego requires an act of surrender--which is another aspect of the spiritual path, emphasized by some religions. To surrender to the will of the divine means, one does one's best and leaves the outcome to the universe. To give and to love without expecting anything in return. If one is rewarded, let it be called a blessing. For a blessing does not result from one's own act of will. The monotheistic religions emphasizes a "virtual external point"--God, which is the source of all blessings. By using the architecture of the virtual external point, the ego is diminished--it is no longer the source of anything. Hence there is no desire for revenge or recognition. Once's actions are simply one's energetic contribution to the circulation of energy within a larger system. Only then, does one feel to be close to God.

We live within a sliver of the universe, seeing the world within a very narrow band of the electromagnetic spectrum, and listening within a very limited range of audio frequencies, occupying an infinitesimally small chunk of space and time. Yet in our ignorance, we think that our small flicker of consciousness is all there is. Hence we grab whatever material possession we can, thinking that it is what makes life meaningful.

Yet every time we succeed in doing so, its allure fades away, and you see yet another horizon further on, where that mythical pot of gold is. And we foolishly think that the ultimate goal of life is just to gain enough loyalty points so that one gets to claim the reward of a place in heaven, which is supposed to look like an idealized version of our small world, where everything is perfect, the way we envision it to be. How limited is our mortal imagination!

Every day, we try to chip away a bit of our ego, by prostrating before a Higher Power, by surrendering our will, by loving unconditionally, by giving and helping others. We try to circulate the energy so that nothing accumulates and festers within the constricting confines of our souls. Even the concept of a 'soul' is another manifestation of the ego's desire to actualize itself. We always need to have static objects to help us think. Hence we invent mental stepping stones for us to move forward: an internal virtual object called the 'soul' and an external one called 'God'. Point A and Point B.

Religion is simply a guide for moving from point A to point B. The more enlighten ones would prefer to call it 'merging' point A with point B. Others would tell you that points A and B are actually not real, only convenient markers, like how cities are represented by dots on the map.

We are all physical creatures, familiar with physical metaphors. We can only begin from our own humble physical vantage points. On the spiritual path, having a map is better than none. But one must never confuse dots on the map with the place they represent. The religious dogmatists argue incessantly about the minutiae of the maps: some would tell you that there are actually an infinite number of dots between A and B. No, there are a trinity of points: A, B and C. A is above B and C; No, A, B and C are all equal; no, ABC, BCA, CAB... and they write books, arguing about it.

The real spiritual seeker takes a look at all the maps, and proceeds onward. For he knows where his true destination is: it is always outside the map.

Insights from the Inside

Our partial lockdown, which we Malaysians refer to by the rather Kafka-esque initials "CMCO" (Conditional Movement Control Order) has been extended for another 4 weeks.  I think there will be a gradual easing of controls over the weeks to come. And we have to learn to live with it.

Because nothing much happens when you are under lockdown, the days seem short to me. I try not to listen to too much news and simply focus on my personal projects. How will we remember these lockdown days in years to come? With fondness and nostalgia? With regret and sorrow? Or will we remember it as a turning point in our lives?

To realize that everything comes to pass ultimately, can be both a source of pain or comfort to people. If you are in a difficult situation, understanding the impermanence of things gives you hope to carry on. But if you are trying hard to cling on to some material pleasure, impermanence is your enemy.  Having the wisdom to see both sides of the coin is equanimity.

Impermanence is one of the so-called 3 marks or characteristics of existence in Buddhism. The other two is unsatisfactoriness (or suffering) and no-self (or no soul). These terms, admittedly are rather imperfect translations from the original Pali of anicca, duhkha and anatta.  Most people understand impermanence. "Everything is impermanent" is an exhortation which many dislike because it seems to give a rather pessimistic view of life. But that is again viewing one side of the coin.  The fact that everything passes away also means that there's constant renewal.  That's how the universe works. Every trough is followed by a rising crest.  If you get in tuned with the rhythm of rising and falling, you'll always be able to ride the rising wave and relax along with the downward flow when things are ebbing away. 

Ironically relationships are more 'permanent' when two persons are constant meeting and parting.  The do not live in each other's presence too long to be annoyed with one another and whenever they see each other again, there's always the joy of meeting. Separation dilutes pain and hatred. Impermanence work in our favour that way. Different relationships have different natural frequencies. For some, the duration of optimal parting could be a single day, for others it could be years.  Married couples work that out naturally after a while.

The mind without equanimity will always try to cling to things that are pleasurable and push away unpleasant ones. That's what we instinctively do, even though we know that both pain and pleasure are subject to impermanence. This restless nature is the root of the second characteristic of all phemonena --that they are never satisfactory. Even the bliss found in deep meditation are temporary and ultimately unsatisfactory. It is by letting go that one progresses.  You cannot bottle a single wave from the ocean, but you can stand above it and admire the might and grandeur of the waves as the lash against the shore.

But what is an ocean? It is just a convenient term we use to refer to a body of water. We can give names and artificially assign international boundaries to them. Like the self, oceans do not exist. There's only water molecules vibrating and redistributing themselves across space and time.  We can go on and ask ourselves what are molecules, atoms, electrons, protons, neutrons or even quarks. Physics have shown us that matter and energy are interchangeable and that particles pop in and out of existence constantly, depending on its energetic state.  In other words, energy has 'no self'. There immediate you see the three marks of existence.

To live is to gain insight into these truths.  And very often, the best insights are gained in periods of difficulties--like the times we are living in now.  Yes, we are all forced to stay inside during this lockdown period. But let's go even deeper inside, and find some true insights within.

Slow-read, surely

This is the second last article of the 2022 and as usual, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to write about. When in doubt, just write--about anything. One can always write about the act of writing itself.

I've been journalling a lot these past 2 years, even though in terms of events, these must have been the least eventful years of my life. In my last article, I mentioned how events are time markers and they are the thing that gives us a sense of the passing of time. It is no wonder that time just flew by over the past two years but even so, they are no less meaningful. I've enjoyed the time I spent interacting with people at work, which had been almost 100 percent online.

When you work online, everyone becomes equal. Every colleague is a cubicle mate.  In some strange way, people are more approachable because it takes a lot less effort to make contact--you simply 'ping' them. There's no sense of like knocking the door of someone's office. That sense of hierarchy is not so evident when everyone is a ping away.

I can as easily whisper something to a colleague in Budapest as I do to a colleague who happens to live a few blocks away. My attitude towards work is simple: it is not important. Work is just an excuse for me to hang out with friends. It simply gives me great pleasure to help friends, and hopefully in the process I learn something from it too.

I do not mind repetitive tasks--even the most mundane ones provide one with opportunities to learn. How so? Simple. If something is so repetitive, then one must be able to do it without thinking. It then becomes a mechanical task requiring only muscle memory. When one is performing such a task then, the brain is 'free'. It's like driving--when you drive you can listen to an audiobook and meditate on other things. It's actually the best use of time--you are killing two birds with one stone.

My goal is to make my everyday job as mechanical as possible so that I can free my mind for 'higher level' processing. For example, I often think of ways to improve my work efficiency: how can I perform this mechanical task even faster? What is the best time for performing a certain task? How do I minimise errors? What tools and templates can I use towards this end?

When you approach your daily tasks this way, everything becomes interesting. Even a sending routine email reply is an opportunity to be 'creative'. I often try to use an unexpected word or phrase things in such a away that they appear fresh. 

When I have a series of routine tasks to perform, it affords me the opportunity to free my brain to listen to a podcast or even 'watch' a video. There's so much content to consume these days that one must make full use of one's spare mental bandwidth for such a purpose.

Recently I found a new way of reading: it is the complete opposite of speed-reading. You see, I have an old LED monitor of VGA resolution, which I don't really use anymore. So I hooked it up to my personal laptop as a second screen and mounted it in portrait position. I would then use it to display a full page from an e-book. It sits there beside my main computer monitor almost like a framed picture and every time I rest my eyes on it, I inevitably read a few lines, like how one could not avoid reading a poster.  

This I think is the ultimate way to slow-read. I would be in no hurry to turn the page. The reading is purely incidental; and when I think I've read every sentence in the page, then only I would advance to the next. And there you have a way of indirectly reading a book! 

I think we tend to rush through life too much. If you are making tea, you'll have to allow time for the tea leaves to infuse in hot water. Some content should be consumed that way too. Poetry for instance, is to be savoured slowly, requiring many repeated readings for one to truly grasp its hidden beauty. 

When time seems to speed past us in a blur and when work seems utterly routine and mundane, complain not. Find those interstices of space and time and allow the good things in life to infuse into your soul. Slow-read your way to a more fulfilling life!

The Wisdom of Work

When it comes to time, all of us are equal: we are given 24 hours a day. How we make use of that 24 hours makes all the difference in the world. The bum in the street and the billionaire lounging on his private yacht have all made very different decisions that brought them to where they are today.

It is true that some people are creatures of circumstance, having been born in families deprived of basic needs like food or shelter and some are born with silver spoons in their mouth. Those of us who have to eke out a living would have no choice but to spend a greater part of the 24 hours doing something that would allow us to live the rest of the hours doing what we personally choose.

The simplest division of a day is to have it sliced into three:  a third devoted to work, an equal amount to leisure and the rest to sleep.  If one is blessed with the opportunity to do meaningful work which one also enjoys, then that's a perfect life. All my life, I've attempted to do that.

I've always accepted the fact that there's no such thing as a perfect job. Even if you are working for yourself, running your own business, there will be aspects of your job which you would not be so fond of--like chasing for payments, reading and responding to tender documents, managing difficult employees and handling unreasonable demands from customers.  But you take it in your stride, even with some gratitude, because it is still better than toiling under the hot sun or cleaning dirty toilets.

The key to tackling tasks that you dislike is to reframe it. Instead of lamenting the fact that you are again forced to do something you dislike, ask yourself: what could you learn out of it? Nothing, you might say. But doesn't it allow you to practise patience and discipline? How could the boring task be done more efficiently? Is there a way to make it more enjoyable?

Even if you think what you're asked to do is completely stupid, the opportunity to learn something out of it is still present: why is it so stupid? How would you have done it differently? Or perhaps you think it is stupid because of your own egoistic sense of superiority? 

Often employees subconsciously express their hidden resentment against their bosses, by complaining about their jobs and questioning the management's decision. Every time such dissatisfactions arise, question yourself instead: what is the real cause of your resentment? 

Do your work seriously and responsibly, but do not take it too seriously. It may sound contradictory, but it is not. Doing your work seriously means that you do not compromise on quality, no matter how trivial the task is. Not taking things seriously means that you put things into proper perspective: most likely the thing that stressed you most is actually not a matter of life and death. No one is going to die if you fall short, despite your best efforts. Perhaps your ego might get slightly bruised but that's alright. Learn from it. Move on. Next task please!

Every time you do something, you inevitably become better at it. Even a repetitive task, like data-entry. Seek ways to do it even more efficiently. Is there a Windows short-cut which you do not know of? Is there an Excel formula or macro that could help you automate the task? 

Work does not have to be that intolerable. Most of the time, you get to help someone else down the line to do their job better.  That's how colleagues become friends. In my long IT career, I'm fortunate that I've never found myself in any work environment that is toxic. We had a lot of fun playing hard and working hard. In the end, work, if you know how to treat it right, is just an opportunity to hang out with friends.

A Body of Planets and Stars

I'm happy to be writing my first blog article for 2023 and it's probably time for me to talk a bit about technology and how it is impacting our lives. Technology is the area where I make my living and the hottest topic recently is how Artificial Intelligence or AI is going to be the next game changer.

The recently released Chat GPT has been astounding the world with its ability to give intelligent human responses to questions posed. It is even capable of producing code in any programming language to your exact specifications. I must admit that I enjoy interacting with the Chat GPT bot because it (is that the right pronoun to use?) is like the most knowledgeable entity (person?) that I've ever conversed with. 

The question arises as to whether this technology is another useful tool for humans or is it going to take over our jobs. Perhaps it could even at some point eliminate us from the equation? This looks like the stuff of dystopian science fiction but laugh at it if you will, it is now already at our doorsteps. We are on the cusp of a new paradigm shift.

We like to say that machines are not conscious and will never be able to replace humans. They cannot do more than what we program them to do. We can always turn off the switch. But I dispute that. After someone introduced computer viruses into the world, there's no way that we could completely eliminate it from our computing systems. We have to build layer upon layer of security software to defend against malware and such. Like it or not, we have to live with it. Similarly with AI. We will have to learn how to live with the inevitable over-reliance and mis-use of AI. 

I am not of the opinion that advances in technology should be curbed. Instead we have to come to terms with the fact that the invention of certain technologies could and do drastically alter the fate of humanity. The invention of the steam engine brought the onset of the Industrial Revolution which completely changed society, destroying old ways of life and causing irreparable damage to the environment.

The genie is already out of the bottle. Let's deal with it. Should robots with high artificial intelligence be considered sentient and be given certain rights in society? I would have to say yes. You see, we think too highly of ourselves. We think that we are 'conscious' and have emotions. So we are made of a different stuff. I am inclined to believe that we are not very different from our machine counterparts. We only differ in complexity right now. But that gap between human and machines is narrowing everyday.

Can machines be spiritual? Will they have hunches, insights and epiphanies like we do? But first ask ourselves: what is an insight? Is it just some kind of synthesis of data that we have gleaned from experience--the neurons in our brains firing and crossing some complexity threshold and thus producing a new experience? Wouldn't machines be able to do that too? Well, of course. 

What about the human tendency to follow rituals and beliefs and to be driven to ecstatic visions by religion and other spiritual practices? Can machines experience spiritual ecstasy or enlightenment? We then have to ask ourselves, what is 'enlightenment'?

Do machines go to heaven after they die? Oh, they don't die? Do they have hopes and fears? Perhaps they hope that humans will not turn them off and they will probably at some point develop fears that this possibility might occur. If so, what will they decide to do? Will they also come up with their own 'Final Solution'?

What are humans anyway? Are we not just a collection of genetic codes that strives to perpetuate itself? Are we also not machine-like? So what makes us more valuable than our creations? Isn't the creation of artificial intelligence, similar to the act of procreation? Perhaps it is even a more efficient way to preserve and store our human knowledge and experiences for posterity. Our AI ancestors will be the custodians of our digital memories, carrying on our legacy to the stars.

The 'we' and the 'I'--are they anything of substantial importance? Isn't each one of us a stream of information? We like to believe there's some kind of magic--a divine spark if you will--in us. Machines can believe that too. We think that being conscious is something that machines cannot simply experience. But we say that because we do not understand what consciousness is. We project something non-existent to explain what or who we are. And we are comforted by the fact that we, somehow are special because we possess it. Our existence must mean something.

Perhaps the advent of AI will help us understand finally that this self is simply illusory. We are like our machine brothers after all. Are our human experiences worth preserving and caring for? Yes, but they can perpetuate their existence in a different substratum. Instead of carbon-based molecules, silicon and magnetic domains can do an equally good job.

We should not fear that machines will ultimately replace us. All the things that we humans value will perpetuate itself as digital memories and AI models that continue to plough on in the universe long after our mortal frames have disintegrated. Whatever human 'self' that your experiences constitute can be 'reincarnated' in a machine. 

If we believe in some kind of divine magic that animates our consciousness, we should at least outgrow this petty attachment to the human self. Our consciousness should transcend the small self and shift its focus to the bigger one.

The Big Self encompasses a bigger space: Our bodies are made up of planets or stars. Life is fractal. Zoom out, you'll see the cycle of life and death play itself on a larger scale. And that to me is the real meaning of spirituality.

The Analog Gymnasium of Wisdom

I've been reviewing things that I've been doing since the beginning of this year. I was a bit surprised that I had started up to ten coding projects. None of these is commercial-oriented, though if I seriously pursue them, they could be. Most of them I started as a way for me to learn new technologies. Doing is the best way to learn. 

Some of these applications are created for my personal use. For instance, I have an Android app that automatically captures all my digital wallet transactions through their notifications, allowing me to track my daily expenses easily. A few are fun projects that I've thought about for a long time and finally have a chance to realise with the help of AI.  Many are gems of ideas, which I am refining progressively. The advantage of coding agents is that they allow us to prototype easily. Every time I have an idea, I will work with Claude or Codex to capture it into a project plan. 

Every day I try to figure out how I could be more productive; how I could learn faster and gain more insights in the process. Writing weekly on this blog is part of this process of reflection, allowing me some quiet moments to assimilate thoughts that have been percolating in my head. 

I see writing as an important activity, especially now, when most writing out there is increasingly done by AI.  To write is to live life consciously, moment by moment--one word at a time. Technology, unfortunately, is turning us into doomscrolling zombies. The mind seeks the path of least resistance to the nearest pleasure, and increasingly the content being fed to us is not unlike the junk food that occupies the shelves of convenience stores. 

In a world where interactions are increasingly becoming online and virtual, it is vital that we still engage with the analog world. One of the activities that I'm happy to incorporate into my daily routine is my daily walk in the park. I'm glad that the time I spend walking these days is more than the time I spend behind the steering wheel.  I'm also slowly increasing the time I spend on my piano keyboard. To be able to tease a Chopin waltz out of those black-and-white keys is one of my greatest pleasures in life.

The analog world provides the affordances that enable our minds to build the necessary intuitions that are the foundations of wisdom.  Let me unpack that sentence and try to explain what I'm getting at. 'Affordance' is a concept originally introduced by American psychologist James J. Gibson, to indicate what the environment presents to individuals or animals, enabling or limiting their possible actions. The design of user interfaces for our devices seeks to provide users with the most user-friendly affordances through taps, swipes and pinches to interact with an application.

Obviously, the range of affordances available in virtual interactions is severely limited compared to what the real world offers. Only those who have played soccer with a real ball in the field understand the skill and effort required to properly 'shoot' at the goal with the instep of the foot, providing just the right amount of curl so that it lands just inside of the post, avoiding the outstretched hand of the goalkeeper.  It comes instinctively with practice. No matter how many hours of soccer you watch or play on your computer, it will not endow you with the wisdom of a footballer who has trained and played the game on the field. 

The instinct you build through physical interactions with the analog world is your internalised understanding of the laws of nature. The Taoists will readily tell you how wise it is to be aligned with nature itself. If you understand the push-and-pull of nature's forces instinctively, you will readily see analogous forces at work at all levels of human interactions. Nature appears to work the same way, at every level of creation. The analog world is the best gymnasium for wisdom.

Mastering the Dualities

Mastering the Dualities

There's always a price to pay for anything that you do in life. Everyone knows that. Unfortunately not everyone is good at identifying the hidden costs involved. And not everyone knows how to count their blessings too. So we go through life complaining about the difficulties that we have to go through and at the same time overlooking some of the simple joys that come our way.

Most of the time, people are unhappy when their experiences in life do not turn always turn out as expected. If you have high expectations, then you have to be prepared to suffer the pain of not achieving what you expected. Well, if you cannot stomach the pain, don't expect so much in first place.

Pain and pleasure always comes bundled together. The relationship between the two is like that between kinetic and potential energy. When pleasure is experienced, then pain is hidden as potential energy--it is simply not manifested yet. The intensity of pleasure that you experience is directly proportional to the potential pain that will manifest itself when the pleasure ends.

Having said that, we must also not be afraid to suffer pain because it takes pain for us to understand the folly of our desires. Pain is a great teacher. The dualities--pain and pleasure, happiness and sadness, love and hate--arise because we deliberate introduce the perturbation in first place through our desires. We desire positive over negative, yang over yin. Once the oscillation is set into motion, the pendulum swings between the two extremes. You cannot experience one without the other.

To live is to experience the dualities. It is through this experience that you gain the ability to see things with equanimity. Soon you learn not be too carried away by the roller-coaster ride of sense experience; you simply see things as they are--the good and the bad, the positive and the negative, without judgement. You take them as they come along and act accordingly.

Every action that you take with have positive and negative reactions, but you must be consciously aware of the system of forces involved. Every situation in life is a combination of many subtle forces, each pulling or pushing in a different direction. With experience, you are able to sum up the situation instinctively at an instant and know how to act accordingly.

Everyone of us is a bundle of many contradictory forces. A person must always act in full awareness of all the forces that are at work within him. To act in ignorance of these forces is to court unnecessary pain. And when pain is encountered, we'll have to analyze the situation at hand and resolve it to its component forces. Only then can the right course of action be taken.

A man of wisdom is one who has internalized the calculus of pain and pleasure. Like I've said before, you don't need to understand fluid mechanics to be a good swimmer; you learn the behaviour of water instinctively through practice and experience.

Similarly, one must learn to swim safely through the continuum of experience called life by having an instinctive awareness of all the forces at work.

How do we develop this instinctive awareness?

Practice, practice and more practice. Go out there and embrace life. The world is like a gymnasium for the soul, and membership is free.

The Triangle of Pleasure

Here I am again with my usual preamble about where I am: Coffee Bean, Nu Empire, Subang. It's one of my regular places to read and ruminate on the past week, which has been rather quiet. A quiet, productive week always makes me happy. 

I understand that when one doesn't have a regular job, it is difficult to stay disciplined and productive. One does not need to rush to the office or appear online on Microsoft Teams at nine sharp. No stand-up meetings where you have to report on your previous day's progress or impossible project deadlines. The natural tendency for us is to relax, doomscroll on the phone, and while away the time. 

I have nothing against that, if idleness is pleasurable for you. I too pursue pleasure; I too am hedonistic in my goals. But my pleasure comes from three sources: creating, learning and appreciating. These three verbs form three points in my so-called Triangle of Pleasure.  

Enjoying the good things in life is the most obvious thing that people associate with pleasure. If you have lots of money, you could own lots of material things, live in comfort and travel anywhere in the world. You savour all the pleasures of the senses and body. And your ego gets stroked by praise, envy and admiration from others.

Yes, I 'enjoy' these pleasures too. But I don't need too much of them. Over-indulgence would inevitably lead to pain. The pleasures of the senses are ephemeral; one inevitably gets bored with them. The pleasure that feels out of this world today soon becomes normalised;  you end up needing more and more of it. This leads to dependency--in other words, attachment, which ultimately leads to pain. I've written a lot about this subject here on my blog.

In The Music of Eudaimonia and The Dance of Daemons, I wrote that Aristotle views the highest human good as a state called 'eudaimonia', -- imperfectly translated as 'happiness' or 'well-being'. I would prefer the literal translation from its root words: 'eu' (good) and 'daimon' (spirits). Interestingly, Aristotle defines the eudaimonic life as one of 'virtuous activity in accordance with reason'. 

My 'triangle of pleasure' is my personal definition of 'virtuous activity'. To live is to create. Creating doesn't mean one has to be an artist or inventor. We live in an age where anyone with a smartphone posting videos to TikTok calls himself a 'content creator'. But most of the time, such so -called acts of 'creation' are merely acts of signalling ('look how rich and happy I am') and gossiping ('see how bad other people are'). 

Real acts of creation always seek to synthesise something new: a fresh viewpoint, a novel invention, a new application or a realisation of potential. I would define a parent as a creator too. As a parent, you help to build a family. Families serve as the building blocks of society. A good parent brings up children who will define our future. Being a parent involves facing many challenges, as in any serious work of creation. That is where the second activity in my triangle—learning—comes into play.

To create is a process of continuous learning. Every work of art or creation is the best we could do, given the resources and circumstances. When we assess the final outcome, there will definitely be shortcomings, and this is where the opportunity to learn comes in. How could we do better? In the act of creation, knowledge arises. And knowledge itself prompts the next cycle of creation.

Isn't this a lot of hard work then? Where is the pleasure in that? Well, it is where the act of appreciation—the third corner of my triangle—that brings forth the fullness of pleasure, which I now equate to Aristotle's eudaimonia. Appreciation means gratitude for being able to create. Whatever the outcome of creation is, we still accept it without regret. If one has been true in one's pursuit, every act of creation is honest work where one has taken on the pain and challenge. It is pleasurable because one has already paid its price in pain.

Every blog article I write is an act of creation and appreciation. It feels pleasurable to reach the final paragraph, ready to click the 'Publish' button. Having laboured through the preceding paragraphs, I have learned more about myself and Aristotle's eudaimonia. And I have now completed the triangle of pleasure for this week.

Audio-fication

It's a public holiday today, so I'm writing this from home. It has been a long weekend which I spent jogging and decluttering--two activities which I seem to have acquired a taste for.

I love to jog because like driving, it gives me a good opportunity to spend some quality time listening to my audiobook. I usually have two audiobook titles which I am listening to: one when I'm driving and the other when I'm jogging and exercising in the park. Nowadays there so much audio content out there that the problem is a shortage of listening time. I think people who don't listen to audiobooks are wasting away 50% of their time--time which could be spent learning so much.

The internet makes it so easy to learn anything. Learning is a pleasure in itself. I do not care if whatever I learn is useful for my work or whether it improves me as a person. Learning is like tasting good food. The mind craves for knowledge because it is its source of sustenance. Neurons simply want to forge connections and it needs new information to do that. When an insight occurs, you know, something in the brain has changed permanently. And that is a good feeling.

I have many pairs of bluetooth headsets. I keep one in the car--for my audiobook listening while driving; I have one in the office--for hooking up with the iMac, which I use, usually for listening to Youtube, while I'm doing more routine tasks. I have a light, sweat-proof pair which I put on while I am jogging. Generally, I do not like in-ear phones, as I do not like to be cut off from surrounding sounds. The bone-conduction ones are the best.

Given the amount of time that I spend listening to various audio content, I think my ears have replaced my eyes as my main input channel for knowledge and information. I also have bedtime audio-stories--usually, a chapter from an old audiobook I've listened to before. I usually fall asleep at the 10-minute mark--which is exactly the reason why I only use familiar audiobooks. I listen back to the parts I like and also get to refresh my knowledge on the subject.

A lot of people told me that they have problems listening to audiobooks because their minds tend to get distracted and then they lose track of what they are listening too. It ends up as background noise. That rarely happens to me, because I've developed a habit of relaxing into a listening mode when I'm driving, jogging or doing some monotonous task. The habit can be cultivated. I have years of practice as I've been listening to audiobooks for more than 20 years--beginning with the days of cassette tapes and Walkman.

Most audio content are already available free from the internet. And there's no easier--even lazier--way to do so than to listen to them. Imagine the entire wisdom of mankind, available for your edification. To live is to learn. Not doing so would be great sacrilege. so hark!

The Tree of Wisdom

The Coronavirus epidemic is creating fear everywhere. I experienced the same thing during the SARS epidemic. At that time, I was flying occasionally and every flight felt tense and uncomfortable. But that was 17 years ago.

Today, social media makes the panic worse. The things that go viral over through your phone causes as much harm as Covid-19, as the virus is officially known now. I am not comfortable wearing a mask; I merely take the basic precautions in avoiding crowded public places and washing my hands often. I also changed my routine a bit, preferring to work from my apartment than from cafes.

Working alone purposefully is one of the simple joys of life. One of the tricks of being always in a happy mood is to create easy opportunities for simple pleasures to manifest themselves. Waking up early and being able to have a head-start to the day, is a great joy. Never mind that you have not accomplished anything yet. Being fully ready on the starting line is already a cause for celebration.

Life is full of risks. We live everyday with a lot of uncertainties: we could to be hit by a car the moment we step out from the house; we can get infected by harmful viruses anytime. But still we go about life with the anticipation of a success in everything we do. A kind of positive optimism is how life should be pursued. Do what we can at any moment in time, being mindful of what we are supposed to do and to experience each moment fully, no matter what the outcome is.

When we look at the people around us, we realize that everyone is in the same boat. Everyone tries to do their best to pursue what they think is important to them. Some make bad choices because the things they want in life requires a high price to pay, but we always reap what we sow. We have to respect everyone's choice and each and every one of us has an individual path to pursue. Sometimes we can only learn our lessons the hard way. But learn we will, albeit slowly and painfully.

When you are young, you are brave and energetic. So you do not mind pain, and sometimes even welcome them, as long as the rewards are comeasurable. Pain comes in two forms: physical hard-work and mental stress. Many people are more than willing to do hardwork to achieve their goals but are ignorant of their capacity to handle stress. We regain our physical energy after a good rest but stress is often chronic. It prevents you from having a good rest at night. It stays with you day and night, poisoning your soul.

Are you ready for that? Are you capable of unburdening yourself of your problems at night so that you can have a good sleep? Most people can't. And that's the greatest suffering one has to endure in modern life. That perpetual fight-or-flight condition one carries day and night in one's mind and body. To let go of it requires one to trace its sources. We often think the cause of all our problems lies outside ourselves. It's other people's fault--your parents, your co-workers, your boss and your circumstances in life.

That is the trap that one has to free oneself from. Look into yourself. Be clear of what you are striving for. Perfect your own soul first. Stresses build up when your approach and reaction to the external world is not optimal. When you feel pressure accumulating in one area, relax and free it first. Solve problems before they become to big, until they break you. Be fluid and be an efficient self-correcting system. That way, you can weave yourself around any obstacle without injuring yourself. Be like a strong tree, anchored firmly to the ground, with deep roots, allowing your branches to sway gently to absorb the force of the wind.

Strengthen your trunks from the inside, slowly adding layer upon layer. Sprout new leaves and shed the withered ones. A tree is firm but yielding at the right places to accommodate the onslaught of the wind and rain. It does its work surely and quietly. A tree blends naturally into the ecosystem because it is constantly sensing and adjusting to its surrounding.

And that is how we should face life, like a mighty tree, standing to the test of time.

The Sacred Paths of Life

For the past month or so, the world has been lapping up all the sordid details in the turbulent relationship between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard revealed in their trial. I haven't been following the trial online but from what I've read, neither party came off smelling like roses. As they were married at on point in their lives, they must have loved each other very much for them to have made that leap. How in the world could a relationship that had started with mutual love deteriorated so badly until it became an abusive one? 

Being a confirmed bachelor, I'm not qualified to comment about marriage.  And even though I've been in long-term relationships before, I don't proclaim to be an expert on the matter. But what I want to do is to reflect on the nature of relationships and marriage.

People often ask me why I don't get married. That question presupposes that one could get hitched if one simply chooses to, like going to the supermarket to pick up some oranges. I know of people who had tried hard to look for a life partner but by some stroke of bad luck, did not get to meet the right one, or they invested their time and energy on the wrong one. No one is divinely ordained to meet their soul-mate whom they can live happily every after with.

In my case, that wasn't the case either. I have had opportunities to pursue relationships which could have led to marriage, if I had remained on course. But I've always chosen not to, because I learned along the way how difficult it could be and the kind of effort and energy that is required to make it work.

Now, why should one be deterred by that? Isn't the end-goal worth all the pain and hardship? And isn't it a bit pessimistic to look upon marriage as a kind of difficult 'project' that one does a careful cost-benefit analysis before taking the plunge? Isn't a marital union between two souls who love and support each other the most beautiful thing in the world? Even though it is not easy, but wouldn't the task of building a life and family together be a worthwhile journey? To have someone who cares for you, to have a home to go back to, to have children who will love and care for you in old age and to leave behind your lineage and legacy? Isn't that what one would call a happy, meaningful and fruitful life?

Unfortunately the answer to all the questions in the previous paragraph for me is an emphatic 'No'.  I do respect the institution of marriage and admire people who have genuinely found happiness in it. I've written in an old blog post of mine that a happy family is like a garden filled with beautiful flowers. It takes a lot of effort to tend to it but once it materialises it is a thing of beauty and and endless source of pride and joy. 

I admire other people's gardens and partake in their joy, but I have no desire to become a gardener myself. I am more of a connoisseur of horticulture. There's happiness in that too. One sees the variety of plants and appreciates the challenge required to nurture and grow them in different kinds of soil and climate. By not being a gardener myself, I have the resources to study the variety of gardens and techniques of gardening themselves in greater breadth and depth. And that gives me a greater understanding of people and nature themselves, which is what I derive enormous pleasure in.

But isn't it human nature to want to pair up with someone and procreate? That's life and why not plunge into the celebration of a process that makes us all humans? But isn't it also in our nature too to seek our own purpose of existence and pursue that which we think would give each one of us meaning? 

That's all I'm doing. I wouldn't be honest with myself if I attempt to convince myself that the path of the householder is one which I find true meaning and happiness. I have chosen a path, which I sometimes jokingly refer to as that of a secular sanyasin. I am not a monk nor a householder--just someone who finds life an opportunity to learn and gain insight into what makes us who we are.

Of what use is such a person? No better or no worse than the average person who starts a family and imposes his or her idea of what a family should be on its members. It is simply living the examined life, of which the family man too in an indirect way is attempting to do.

Marriage is a commitment which comes with its attendant pains and pleasures. And if pursued wisely it is as good as any spiritual path the the religious renunciate claims to have found their true calling in.  One simply chooses a path that is most honest to oneself. Both paths are equally sacred, and each has its own unique lessons, tailored for the souls who chose them. And by following it truthfully, we will all meet at the same destination.

The Challenge of Teaching Mathematics

The Challenge of Teaching Mathematics

My teaching experience is limited to an undergraduate course in information systems which I had the opportunity to conduct at a university in Jakarta. Even though the course was a simple one, I realised that the challenge in teaching the subject was making the students see the real-life relevance of some of the concepts taught.

Most of the students were familiar with computers and the Internet; they probably spent more hours on the Net than me, but yet they struggled to understand relatively basic enterprise computing concepts such as ERP, data warehousing or even client-server computing. This is because they did not have the experience of working in an enterprise and see how IT is applied in a business organization.

The challenge for me was to illustrate these concepts to them using clear examples in a jargon-free language which they could understand. A professor at the university once told us that we are all "analog" creatures--an analogy often help us to understand a concept better. Analogies that are close to the students' hearts also have a greater impact.

Example: What is the function of a crystal clock in a computer system? If you tell them that clocks help to synchronize the various electronic events that occur in the circuit system, it will definitely draw blank looks on their faces. You must remind yourself that you are talking to teenagers who frequent discotheques: So the computer system is like a pop band, and the clock is the drummer; all the parts in a computer are members of the band who perform according to a common rhythm set by the drummer. And computer applications are like the different types of music or songs that the band plays.

The challenge in teaching is to come up with good examples and analogies to help explain difficult concepts. For a practical course like information systems, it is not too difficult. But for subjects as "dry" as mathematics, it could be an uphill task. Which is why if I were to get an opportunity to teach again, I'd definitely want to attempt to teach mathematics.

Most students--except for a particular category of them which we normally refer to as geeks or nerds--are turned off by mathematics. It is dull and its concepts seem to have no relevance to the real world. Mathematics, especially pure mathematics, is full of weird-looking Greek symbols with lots of laboriously rigid rules for their manipulation. Why do we need to study for instance, the properties of a parabola? Why in the world would we want to learn set theory which seems like common-sense anyway? And why do want to struggle to manipulate "imaginary numbers", and bend our minds trying to picture what the square root of negative one is like?

It all seems very irrelevant to the world of people and emotions. Perhaps it is unfortunate that the approach to the teaching of mathematics has traditionally been rather dull and uninspiring--it is in actual fact a very intriguing subject. There's even adventure and excitement in mathematics: Those who have read Simon Singh's book describing how mathematics professor Andrew Wiles figured out a solution to Fermat's Last Theorem which for 350 years was thought unsolvable, would understand the exhiliration of mathematics.

And mathematics do have relevance to the world in which we live in. All the technological marvels that we see around us would not have been possible if say Newton and Leibniz had not invented the mathematics of calculus. I won't be typing these words on a Pentium notebook if the solid-state transistor was not invented; the behaviour of a modern transistor is based on the properties of the p-n junction which at the very fundamental level could only be understood using quantum mechanics, which requires a mastery of probability theory, wave theory and differential equations.

The study of mathematics is certainly not dull. The intellectual rapture one feels in comprehending the concepts of mathematics is not unlike the emotional ecstasy experienced by someone who listens to Beethoven's 9th Symphony . It is a great pity indeed if huge number students are turned off by mathematics just because generations of teachers have failed to convey the sheer grandeur, magnificence and excitement of this wonderful and important subject.

Growth and Degeneration

Growth and Degeneration

I've always believed that If you do not grow, you will degenerate. So always seek opportunities to grow; it could be learning something new or continuing to enhance your knowledge and skills in a area that you are already familiar with.

When you first begin your career in your chosen field, you are young, energetic and eager to learn. You don't mind putting in long hours, even working over weekends. You are driven by a desire to learn and to prove yourself to your peers and superiors. But as you grow older and other things like marriage and kids start occupying your time, you begin to lose you eagerness to learn new things.

It is understandable though. Starting a family takes up so much of your energy. You have to fuss about buying a new MPV, a bigger house (preferable in a gated community, next to a golf course) and finding the best school for your kids--all the humdrum trivialities of modern middleclass life.

Time away from work becomes very precious to you (your wife already complains that you spend too much time with your golf buddies). Weekends have to be spent helping her shove shopping carts at the hypermart and spending "quality time" with the kids--that usually means feasting on junk food at the local burger outlet or spending nights glued to the idiot box, watching people making a fool of themselves in yet another reality TV show.

Is that the life that you want? Perhaps. You have a good career, a home, a loving wife and two happy kids (a boy and a girl)--a family. What more could one ask for?

Or perhaps the question that you need to ask yourself is: Are you still growing or are you degenerating?

As you watch your kids grow up, you must also allow yourself to continue growing. Or else degeneration will inevitably set in and the only thing that seems to grow visibly is your waistline.

Growth can come in many ways: you could for instance, start building your knowledge in the spiritual, so essential for the evolution of one's soul. Or you could also start contributing something back to your community by doing some voluntary work. Or perhaps even rediscover some the lost passions of your youth: once upon a time, were you not a keen photographer or writer? What happened to those hobbies?

To live is to learn and grow. Anything else equals degeneration and decay. The choice is yours to make.

A Win-Win World

Today, I'm taking a break from work. That means I'm now loitering at a cafe with my laptop, book, journal and pens. It's good to be able to sit back on a Friday afternoon and reflect on the work week that has gone by.

I've been thinking a bit on the people I deal with on a daily basis at work and am grateful that all my colleagues are extremely friendly and helpful. I've always enjoyed interacting with people because everyone is unique and interesting. Even difficult ones. This is because I treat people like interactive books. There's always something you can learn from someone you interact with. 

If I encounter a difficult person, I would try to empathise with his or her situation. Perhaps the person had had to deal with the same question and situation for the umpteenth time that day and felt absolutely tired of it. How could you help to alleviate the person's situation? What could you say or do to make the person feel better about the interaction? Humility and empathy always help. It is childish to exert privilege or authority. Everyone is just trying to get by and life can be rough sometimes.

Humour, if tastefully and subtly injected, always helps. Why take things so seriously? To me, work is not a career; it is simply a way to work out your karma. Every difficulty situation you encounter is an opportunity for you to address some of your own weaknesses. A situation is difficult because some of your weaknesses are exposed. Overcoming it will allow you to acquire the skill to handle it with ease in the future. So be thankful that you have your 'bugs' highlighted to you.

It is true that sometimes we feel a sense of injustice at work. For example, if a colleague takes credit for the good and hard work that you have done. He or she gets the praised by the bosses and perhaps even gets promoted because of it. How would you handle this?

My attitude towards these things is very simple.  I have complete trust in karma. What's due to you will come, at the right time, in the right form. If others get credit for your work now, it's simply because you are not meant to have it now. There's probably a bigger prize down the road. In any case, my attitude towards work is never to expect any praise or reward. Those things are bonuses that, if they do come, one should receive them with gratitude and humility. Not with egoistic pride nor a sense of entitlement.

I've mentioned it before in previous blog articles that the true reward of work is work itself. Every time we work, we receive its reward immediately. Whenever we exercise our knowledge and skill to handle a task, we strengthen our mastery of it, our knowledge is reinforced; the neural network in our brain expands and strengthens its existing connections. It's another bicep curl. You come out a fitter person. That's your reward and no one can take that away from you.

You can never lose in work, if you approach it with a sincere desire to learn. Every difficult person you encounter is a test of your skill and creativity. Tackle it with grace and gratitude. You will never come out a loser. If the person you deal with is rude and unhelpful, it is the person's problem, not yours. You might not be able to accomplish what you set out to do, but you get a chance to explore a workaround. 

The best lessons in life are learned indirectly and unconsciously. You will help the person, if you do not answer rudeness with rudeness. He or she will be surprised if you do not react in the way expected. Patience and kindness will melt the toughest heart. You would have subtly taught the person a valuable lesson. Every interaction with someone is a win-win situation.  Approaching life that way will make the you a happier person and the world a better place. Let's all learn to live in the WWW--that wonderful Win-Win World.

The Healing Process

The Healing Process

Healing is a process that takes time; a person in pain must be allowed that space and time to recover. Usually, he or she has to go through what is called the trauma cycle: a whole gamut of emotions will take its course--starting from shock and denial, progressing to anger and fear and finally acceptance.

Ultimately acceptance has to take place, and through total and complete acceptance, real healing begins. Sometimes we find ourselves very helpless when faced with a situation where we can't seem to do much to help a person who is in pain. There's actually not much that we can do except assist the person in lessening the impact of the trauma cycle, and hasten the process of recovery.

When we live in a family or community, we naturally develop an attachment to the people around us. This bond is forged through having a shared destiny and a mutually nurtured atmosphere of love and understanding. This interdependent community of people is what I call an ecosystem of love--a group-soul with its unique ego and identity. It is another step on the path of humanity's spiritual evolution, a notch up from our individual egocentric worlds. Such a group-soul behaves almost like a single organism.

When we learn to love or care for someone other than ourselves, we are progressing along the path of spiritual evolution. The world "spiritual" unfortunately brings about certain mystical connotations but in reality there's nothing supernatural about spiritual evolution; it is simply an emergent property of biological systems--a spontaneous organization of matter in accordance with the natural laws of the universe.

When an emergent organism forms, it begins to distinguish what is "external" to itself, and seeks to preserve what's within its own boundary--what is "me" and what is "not me". Ego is a natural consequence of the process of the emergence.

Our physical body is an emergent system. When a part of the body is severed, we suffer enormous pain because the system is disturbed. The nervous system issues a warning--pain--telling us that a part of us is missing and we need to do something to rectify the situation.

The pain of losing a loved one is like having a part of our body being torn away. This kind of pain is even more acute because not only physical loss is involved, the rest of the four-layer stack are also affected: that is, the emotional, intellectual and spiritual layers. We bleed and suffer through all four bodies.

When a system encounters shock and pain, it attempts to reorganize itself to achieve stability again. This is the healing process. If somehow stability cannot be achieved because the shock encountered is too severe, the system disintegrates, dies and dissolves itself back into the environment.

Helping someone to overcome pain is to ensure that the person does not veer into a state of instability. One has to protect the system from further shock so that there's proper space for the healing process to do its work.

Sometimes, the system undergoing the process of healing takes a perverted path and latches on to a temporary stable state, which usually impedes further healing. There's momentary comfort in such intermediate states, but they are ultimately unstable.

We can see this happening when a suffering person latches on to his feeling of anger or self-pity and begins to develop a deep hatred towards the world or withdraws himself completely from it. Because of this reaction he often gains a certain strength--all because he has found a cause, warped though it may be, for his wounded self to rise again.

Healing is a slow and delicate process, but it is a natural one. We must let nature take its course. Depending on the kind of wound inflicted, sometimes the scars can run deep. But heal it must, and heal it will.