Live and Let Love

Thinking back, there have been times in my life when things were so difficult that I did not know how I would get out of the situation. There did not seem to be any way out. 

It was in those difficult times that you get to know yourself. You ask yourself, what is the worst that could happen? Why did it feel so intractable? Was it shame, loss of a loved one, physical danger or financial ruin that made it so difficult?  

You see, everything that I mentioned before is painful simply because of attachment. There's attachment to pride, to someone you love, or to your own physical and financial well-being.  If you let go of them, all pain dissolves away. 

The worst that could happen is that you die. Our attachment to our own existence in this mortal frame is what we are ultimately concerned about. Let's say that you lose everything that you own, your money in the bank and the job that you have now. Everyone you know and love is gone from your life. Would you still have the strength to go on living?

If you say yes, or that you'll have to, for you have no choice, then the rest is simply a willingness to endure pain consciously--the pain of picking up the pieces and starting over again. It takes strength, courage and resilience--qualities that are difficult to summon in times of despair.

Even when you have not encountered such a dire situation before, it's a good thought experiment that one could perform, for it reduces life to its simplest objective: to survive. What does it take for one simply to survive?

There you will come face to face with your karma. You are born because you still have an attachment to life. It's the simplest of attachments: you want to be alive. To survive involves overcoming a lot of everyday obstacles--seeking food, shelter and companionship. It involves a lot of painful work. That is what working out your karma means. 

And if you have the wisdom to take this pain consciously, you do not generate fresh karma. Work and relationships could be difficult things to tackle. If you love someone and think that your possessive love is something very noble, you are simply generating fresh karma with a lot of potential pain.

Love for love's sake. There's pain and pleasure in the act of love. Take them both. There's no future goal when you love someone. It is not to have kids and a beautiful home. That's a by product of love which you could express gratitude for, if they do materialize. The act of love itself is selfless and goalless.

To live is to love. Love is an energy that emanates from your being. Just spread it around like the selfless sunlight that nourishes the flora, like the cool breeze that brings relief during a hot afternoon, like the gentle ocean waves that lap on the shore. 

Think again of that difficult situation that you have. What attachment is it that's holding you back and making things so difficult? Let go and fall back into your natural state of love. Then you'll know that love and life are inseparable.

The Mechanics of Attachment

I usually blog on Saturday mornings but today I went instead to Amcorp Mall to check out some old books at the indoor flea market there. Chanced upon a rare first edition of a book which caused a lot of controversy when it was published. I don't usually collect vintage books but today I couldn't resist buying it for RM135.00. I thought it was a good bargain because the book is selling for close to USD300 on eBay. 

Driving around the PJ New Town area brought back a lot of memories of the old days when I used to loiter around the area as a student. Later I dropped by at SS2 to collect a fountain pen I had ordered online from Pen Gallery. It's an old Dunhill pen, which I thought would be good for my collection. Tested it just now after inking it with Diamine's Oxblood. It writes beautifully, with just enough wetness and feedback.  The book and the pen made my day.

Books and pens are the only 'luxuries' that I indulge in these days.  If I were to be deprived of these things, I would probably suffer. But these are attachments that I allow myself, as a normal human being, so that I may experience the pain and pleasure of ownership.  

Once you allow yourself to be attached to anything, be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster ride. Becoming the supporter of a soccer team is another kind of 'safe attachment'.

I just watched Liverpool being held to a 0-0 draw at Everton. It was a match that the Reds could have lost and that would have ruined my day. Dropping 2 points from the draw was not pleasant but it wouldn't be as painful as losing the match.  We football fans suffer these ups and downs every week, tracking the fluctuating fortunes of our favourite teams. 

We support a football club so that we may experience extremes of emotions safely. When Liverpool wins a title, the ecstasy that comes with the triumph far surpasses anything that I would normally experience in my humdrum everyday existence. That is why we become football supporters. When we attach ourselves to a team, we gain an opportunity to share the happiness of its triumphs and the despair of its defeats.  And when, our favourite team loses, we comfort ourselves by saying that it's not the end of the world. At the end of the day, it's just a game, involving a team that you had quite arbitrarily attached yourself to.  

I don't live in Liverpool and have never even been there before. I really have no business supporting them. But I do and I have been supporting them since I was a kid, watching their matches on black-and-white TV.  Those were the days, when sports commentators had to help audiences identify the teams through the monochromatic shades of their jerseys. ("Liverpool are in the darker shorts"). And so I partake in the joys and sorrows of their fortunes.

We are all emotion junkies. Being human means being able to feel the whole gamut of emotions.  Being soccer fans give us the license to behave emotionally. You can cheer and jeer madly for the duration of the match, and that's totally acceptable and even expected of you, if you call yourself a fan.  

To live is to be attached to something. It could be books, pens or a football club. Whenever we say we love something or someone, we are actually forming an attachment to the subject. Being attached means you have certain expectations, which might or might not be met.  And that is the cause of all our sorrows. But it is only through the suffering of attachment that we learn how to be eventually free of it.  

Knowledge, Lost and Found

 I didn't post anything last weekend because I was completely tied up with the mundane but essential chores of life, which left me no time to catch my breath and reflect. I'm trying to make up for it by attempting to post 2 articles this weekend.

Here I am, having a head-start now on a Friday afternoon. I have at least an hour's time before I start preparing to head downtown for a social gathering. The weather these days is very unpredictable, I'll try to take the train, if possible. That will give me some time to enjoy some audio content on my phone.

I do have a backlog of podcasts, lectures and audiobooks to consume. My regular morning walks recently have given me an opportunity to catch up a bit on them. It's something I look forward to everyday.

Whenever I get to dine alone outside, I'll always bring a book with me. The other day, I was eating at the mamak restaurant nearby and was engrossed in a hardcover book by Bernard Lewis about the history of the Middle-East. When it was time for me to leave, I left it on the empty chair beside me. I only realised it the next morning when I wanted to resume my reading.

It was interesting analysing the emotions that arose in me when the thought of losing the book sank in. The first thought was:  I'm not able to finish reading the book. But then I realised that it could easily be remedied as I can buy another copy from the internet.

Then it also sank in on me that I do have a bit of sentimental attachment to the book as an object. It's a beautiful hardcover book, which I had wrapped with plastic and it has stayed unread in my library for over 18 years! I had the date inscribed on the cover page, with my name on it. 

I did not read it earlier because I had found the author's prose difficult. But I've read many books by the famed historian Bernard Lewis since then, and had thoroughly enjoyed every one of them. So when I reopened this tome again not too long ago, I was sucked into it again. I was about a third through its 450 pages, when I lost it. 

Losing a sentimental object is painful. But as someone who actively practise non-attachment to material things, I understood the momentary pain of the loss and resolved to let it go. I also comforted myself with the thought that, if the book did end up in the hands of someone, it would likely be one who appreciates books, or at least has some curiosity about the history of the Middle East. I'll be doing some good by setting this book free in the universe.

Reading and rereading my old books, and seeing their contents in a new light is one of the greatest pleasures of life. I delight in the fact that I've matured and progressed in my comprehension of topics that were previously beyond my grasp. This Lewis book, is one of those reads.

I decided to try my luck to see if I could still recover it from the mamak place, which is a regular hangout of mine.  During lunchtime the next day, I drove to the place again, and enquired with the cashier about my 'buku' which I had left on table 13.  He was initially surprised but then asked me about the colour of the book. White, of course. And lo and behold, he produced the glorious tome from the shelf behind him! Even my pencil, tucked in an elastic band around the cover is intact!

I was elated to be reunited with my book again, grasping it again in my hand with sheer gratitude. The tactile feel of a hardcover book is one of those indescribable pleasures that bibliophiles like me enjoy. Which is why I'm still hesitant to move to ebooks.

This brief lost-and-found episode has made me reflect on my attachment to things. And I know the pangs of pain that I had felt from the loss was directly proportional to that sense of possession that I have over this book, an object that is impermanent and slowly disintegrating over time. A relationship with a book, is not unlike that with a human being. And I remember many happy years ago, I had written a blog post about how people are like 'interactive books'.  There's so much that one could learn from these relationships, human or otherwise.

Real Freedom

Lester Burnham (played by Kevin Spacey):
Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.

Carolyn Burnham (played by Annette Bening):
Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.

Lester Burnham:
And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.

Carolyn Burnham:
How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.

Lester Burnham:
Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass me the asparagus.

--family dinner scene from American Beauty, directed by Sam Mendes

We have fears because we have attachments. We are attached to our bodies; so we fear growing old, we fear its annihilation--death.

If you are someone who take enormous pride in your physical beauty, chances are, your attachment is even stronger. And the stronger your attachment, the bigger your fears are, and the more potential pain that you have to suffer.

When you have no attachment to your job anymore and you decide to resign, you'll feel a great sense of freedom and liberation. To hell with your bosses! You are free. You don't give a damn anymore. Imagine yourself in that position. Capture that feeling. Why can't this be your permanent state of mind? Why can't the mind be always free like that?

Because we can't let go of our attachments. We want the income that comes with a steady job. We want the prestige perhaps of working for a large company. We enjoy the position that we hold--where people look up to and respect. We have a standing in society and a sense of identity.

We all need to work to feed ourselves and our families. That's fair enough. But why are we investing so much of our energy and time, at the cost of our mental and physical in so many intangibles--pride, position, prestige, identity? Why are these things important? Are they worth the price that you are paying now?

If you are willing to pay the price, then don't complain. Just take the pain. Truly successful people don't lament about the hardship that they have to go through. They know the price of success.

Now, isn't freedom also an intangible that comes with a price?

If you have to pay for freedom, that means you are not yet free. It could mean you are running away from responsibility. It could also mean that you are attached to some other object of desire that has a bigger allure. You could be divorcing your wife so that you can marry a pretty young girl. That will feel like freedom for a while, until you realize that this new relationship is also a prison in some way.

Freedom is not a goal that one should strive for like how one would go after wealth or position. Freedom is something that's inherent in us--our original state, free from any attachments, neither to the past nor to the future. Freedom is just being and taking every moment as it is. Nothing stirs your calmness. Everything that comes to your attention is tackled and handled without fuss. And you move on to the next. Like a good badminton player.

A drop of water falls on a leave, and immediately glides off its surface.

Such is real freedom.

The Chariot of Success

Last week's article was a little bit sombre, as I reflected on death and the difficulties of family life. Today, I'm back in my favourite mall, Nu Empire, Subang Jaya, to write about something more upbeat, since everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by the gaiety of the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations. 

I've written many blog articles about the Chinese people and the significance of the CNY celebrations. Here's what I wrote in an article 10 years ago: 

"The ethos of the Chinese is growth and expansion. Gloom is anathema to the spirit of Chinese New Year. To move forward with a healthy sense of confidence and optimism is how one should lead one's life. Attaining prosperity and material success in this world is the happiness one seeks as a Chinese."

In another article entitled "The Chinese In Me", I wrote 19 years ago, I reflected on my attitude, as a Chinese, towards the pursuit of material success. Rereading that, I realised how little I have changed since then. Material success to me is still a 'bonus', which, if it comes my way, I will receive with gratitude. But I do not treat worldly pursuits with disdain; if anything, they are actually good opportunities for us to practice non-attachment.

'Success', if the word can be used at all, is always pursued on two fronts: material and spiritual. On the material front, you aim to accumulate as much wealth as possible; on the spiritual side, you attempt to minimise your attachment to these worldly gains.  You constantly subject yourself to the following stress test: if you lose everything that you have gained tomorrow, will you still be alright? 

One might ask: What's wrong with embracing and enjoying all the material delights of the world?  Well, there's nothing wrong with enjoying all the earthly pleasures that come our way, as long as they do not make us vulnerable. How so? Just think of how often we get addicted and dependent on the luxuries of life. Having enjoyed the convenience of a car, you cannot live without one anymore. Having slept with air-conditioning your entire life, you now twist and turn in your bed, whenever there's no electricity.

By all means, enjoy all the fruits of your success. But enjoy them with gratitude. What it means is that you appreciate the fact that they are all temporary in nature. Everything could be gone in a flash. Economic collapse, wars and other natural disasters could rob you of everything. 

How resilient are you in the face of financial ruin? Are you able to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and start all over again? Building resilience is an important part of success. Wealth can be a fragile house of cards if it does not stand on firm spiritual foundations. 

The coming Chinese Lunar New Year is the year of the horse. In the Upanishads, the metaphor of the horse and the charioteer is often used to explain how the senses, represented by the horses, bound to the chariot (body), can only be controlled through the intellect (charioteer) and the mind (reins), which then ensures the safety of the Self or Soul (the passenger). 

Let's all welcome the Year of the Horse, mindful of the fact that the pursuit of our senses will always have to be skillfully tempered by the mind and the intellect. Godspeed!

The Essence of Non-Attachment

In recent interview I read, one of my favourite actors, Sir Anthony Hopkins was asked on what advice he would give to you actors. This is how he answered:

The trick of life is to not care too much. Care a little bit but not too much. Ask nothing and expect nothing.

I thought that summed up my personal philosophy about work quite well too. One may ask: doesn't that sound like a rather callous attitude towards things? Shouldn't we pour our hearts and souls into every undertaking and ensure that it is fruitful to us?

Let me give my take on this Hopkins Principle. Firstly, let's make it clear that by 'care a little bit but not too much', it doesn't mean that you are disinterested in your work or not giving your best. That's simply not being involved in life and his statement doesn't imply that. On the contrary, the greater challenge in life is being involved a hundred and one percent and yet, not having the arrogance to think that you have complete control over the outcome.

We often get emotionally attached to a project that we've put in a lot of hardwork into. We crave praise and recognition. To not expect anything in return, is a massive challenge to anyone. Imagine, burning the midnight oil for a project and your boss did not even acknowledge it or worse still, attributing it to someone else! How would you handle that kind of situation?

Let me put it this way: if you start off an undertaking expecting a specific monetary reward, recognition or praise from a particular audience, then you are not looking at the full picture. The outcome of any work definitely has many effects and consequences. You are always rewarded for your hardwork. Often you just do not see it.

Ask yourself one question: Have you learned anything from the project? If it is real project, most definitely. You've had an opportunity to perfect your craft. Are you a better performer compared to who you were before the project? If the answer is yes--there, you already have your biggest reward.

'Caring a little bit' means caring for the right thing. Focus on something that to you is a sure thing or you would not even consider embarking on the project. Will you get to learn anything from it? If the answer is no, it usually means that you have not raised the bar for yourself. There's always something higher you can achieve, personal goals that you can target for every project. It need not even be known to others. You set it yourself and you strive to achieve them as a by-product of what you do.

What about actual rewards and recognition? Isn't that part of success?

Yes, but let that be flexible because not everything is under your control. Recognition comes in many forms. Good work will always be recognized, if not by your superiors, by your peers and customers. And that, I consider a very good investment, which will bear you even bigger fruits in future. If you don't expect a specific external outcome and you pour in everything that you've got towards the goal that you've set, you would have accomplished your job very well. You've already walked away with your reward: you are a better person. The rest is bonus.

Life becomes very rewarding when you've learned to do things without expecting anything in return. The opportunity to work is already its reward. You have a role to play and in exercising that role, you've benefited yourself through its experience. I shall not repeat my "work as workout" philosophy again but you can read it up here.

"Ask nothing and expect nothing". But put everything into whatever you do. That's the essence of non-attachment.

A Scheme for Pain

How does one deal with suffering? With acceptance, equanimity and a resolve to transcend it.

And attitude of anger and rejection towards suffering only intensifies the pain. Let the pain take its course. By allowing it, one finds catharsis.

A friend's wife once called me, crying. In between sobs she told how she caught her husband with another woman. She was utterly heartbroken.

I asked her whether she would forgive him, if he was repentent. She was willing, but she told me the pain was too much for her to bear. How do you make the pain go away?

I told her to let time dissolve the pain. By allowing time to do its work, pain fades away. Accept that certain things have happened and nothing one does will change or erase the fact. Allow pain to take its course. In due time it will fade away, like everything else in this world. Even love.

There's no antidote for pain. Pain has to be suffered, consciously. To suffer pain consciously means that you understand its causes, and that you have the determination to ride through all its phases, taking every lesson that it throws at you.

Only then will you understand that what you thought was love, was mere attachment. Selfish attachment. It is your need to possess something or someone so that you yourself feel more complete, more fulfilled.

We love ourselves more than anything else in this world. That is the root of all pain. We want to build an environment where we think our personal wellbeing and happiness can be guaranteed--a well-paying job, a loving partner, children who will look up to us and take care of us in our old age.

We think the rest of the world are like props on a stage that we can place wherever we choose. Then one day we realise that these props don't always remain where they are: they move. They have their own idea of "happiness". That is how pain arises.

Are we mature enough to live in a world where things don't always go according to our plan? A world where our vision of a perfect life don't always match with everybody elses? I'll end with a quote from The Dark Knight:

The Joker (played by the late Heath Ledger):

You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are...It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and uh, look where that got you.

The Hero's Beautiful Journey

Our MCO lockdown is coming to an end this week but social distancing practices will be the new norm. There will still be many businesses that will go under. But that is the nature of business and all things in this world. It is a painful lesson in impermanence--a fact we must learn to accept, no matter how hard it is.

The bonds of attachment to all worldly things are strong. It is this attachment that causes us pain, as the Buddha told us more than 2500 years ago. But impermanence cuts both ways--even pain never lasts. If we are willing to see things as constantly arising and passing away and accept that at every moment of our waking lives, then life can be a beautiful experience.

Art is one of the ways we humans celebrate the beauty of life. We capture all our moments of sadness and joy, of yearning and despair, of exultation and and ecstasy, of spirituality and sensuality and transforms them into works of art using sound, colours, movements and forms. Art is our way of sharing our personal take on these universal experiences and in the act of sharing, we partake in that beautiful life.

How can so much sadness and suffering be beautiful? Art is about contrast, balance, expectation and surprise. It is the interplay of extremes, light and dark, that gives rise to the infinite shades of grey in between. If life is static, there is no art. To live is to embark on the archetypal hero's journey. One's entire life is a journey, but if you observe closer, the arc of life is fractal: every day itself is a mini hero's journey, from the awakening of dawn to the denouement of night. Life is, in essence, an epic tale of many chapters.

So take life head on, as any hero would. Let every change be a catalyst and a catharsis. Let pain be that bending of the bow that propels the arrow forward; let the joy of victory be the stepping stone to even greater challenges. So let's take that journey bravely every day head-on. It is what heroes do. It is what makes life beautiful.

The Spirituality of Money

Finally, I found a bit time for myself to read, write and blog on this errand-filled Saturday. I have chosen a place which serves alcohol and here I am typing out these lines while taking sips from my cool pint of draught beer. 

It hasn't rained today--yet--and I'm here savouring the good vibes of a pre-Christmas weekend. As I've mentioned elsewhere before, this is the best time of year. It's like you've finally arrived at your destination after a long flight and the plane is taxiing gently down the runway.  It's the happiness of arrival, of coming home or escaping from it.

All spiritual teachers will tell you that bliss is your natural state. Happiness is finding that inner peace within. It is of course, easier said than done. We spend our entire lives chasing external happiness or attempting to show others we are 'happy'. 

We think that happiness comes from acquiring more things and being recognised for our worldly achievements.  I don't disagree. One needs to go all out and fight the good fight, for only in doing so would one be able to understand the kind of satisfaction that worldly success brings...and the pain of losing it.

Once you've acquired material success, you will realise that it is not easy to let go of it. You are forever 'handicapped' by your need for luxury and comfort.  Acquiring riches is only half the story; the other half is keeping it. In the movie Wall Street, the character played by Daryl Hannah, the trophy girlfriend of the protagonist, Bud Fox, played by Charlie Sheen, said: "When you've had money and lost it, it can be much worse than never having had it at all".

Money is not evil. It is actually a great teacher, even a spiritual one. To acquire money, you usually have to go through a lot of hardwork and pain. But once you've had it, you'll realise that what you thought was sufficient, actually falls short.  There's always someone who earns more than you. So you want more, for being just rich among the super-rich is equally or even more painful than being poor among the rich.

If your wants are only ever to increase--a fancier car, a bigger house--then you'll never ever come to a point where you'll consider yourself rich enough. One can become rich easier by pursuing it from both ends. How? Continue making more money and at the same time reduce your wants.

If you have a car now, can you learn to live without one? By reducing your material needs, you grow spiritually. You have less attachment to things and are not affected by their absence. This is enormously liberating. It's like sprinting towards the finishing line to find that it is also advancing towards you!

Turn your pursuit of material success into a spiritual one by using it as a tool for understanding the pain of attachment. Be grateful for the blessings of wealth, if it happens to come your way. But most important of all, take it as a means to an end. By going all out to pursue riches, you are facing all your spiritual obstacles head-on. The path to enlightenment could be paved with money.  But do watch out for the many potholes! 

 

The Mecca of Materialism

I'm writing this from the Pavillion Mall, Bukit Bintang. I don't come downtown very often but every time that I do, I inevitably end up in this Mecca of Materialism. The mall is unabashedly bourgeois and represents every possible material temptation that the world offers.  

The Bukit Bintang area itself is full of life at night, thronged by tourists from all over the world who come to enjoy the nightlife, street food and shopping.  Strangely, I actually like this place because I enjoy having a beer in one of the outdoor pubs there and watch people passing by, like a zoologist observing animals in the wild. Only by studying other human beings, do you get a better understanding of yourself because you are also the same animal but are often blind to your own behaviour.

One of the things that I often think about is my own materialistic tendencies. I aspire towards minimalism but yet I am not averse to owning material things. I admire good quality products but not necessarily branded ones, though they often are. I will definitely not buy something simply because it is a status symbol. 

Do I own a lot of branded goods? Not really but I do confess to owning quite a number of Mont Blanc pens, leather products and a watch, all of which I bought more than 20 years ago. I liked their simple elegance and quality. Mont Blanc was kind of my favourite luxury brand at one time but I've since ceased to acquire any new items because I did not want to go overboard. I would prefer to treasure what I already own and enjoy them while they last.

I use my luxury possessions to remind myself of the temptation of things and to meditate on my relationship with them. I believe we can enjoy their beauty but not be a slave to their allure.  Always ask yourself: will you be able to accept the thought of losing them? One must always 'practice' relinquishing one's luxury possessions, the moment one owns them. That way, you maintain a healthy non-attachment towards them, but still be able to enjoy the pleasure of their ownership. 

In a way, it's better to think of yourself as its temporary custodian, rather than owner. Nothing in this world actually belongs to you, even if you've paid a hefty price to purchase it. Matter belongs to the universe and will be reclaimed by it in due time. Your material body too returns to dust when you die. so this attachment between material things is only a transient relationship. Enjoy the dance and the dalliance while it lasts. 

We know that the pleasure of a sip of wine fades away the moment one swallows it. There will be some lingering after-taste but that too eventual goes away. So you take another sip, and another sip, savouring each one as the liquid hits your tongue. The mind gets used to any pleasure pretty fast, and soon it will want to amp up its intensity. That's how addiction develops. 

The beauty of material things should be enjoyed in moderation like sips of wine. Just make sure you don't end up an alcoholic. Possess and let go, acquire and relinquish, but never let them take hold of your soul. Be a master of materialism, not its slave. And that is how you have a healthy relationship with them.  

The Carrier Wave of Life

Finally, time for some quiet reflection. This is one of the joys of blogging. In a way it is like writing in a journal because it is personal, but expressed in a public way. I've been thinking about this week's topic last night and the thought that occurred to me is the subject of happiness. But a quick check revealed that, I've written about this subject many times before.

Perhaps today we could examine what are the things that make happiness elusive. Is it seemingly elusive because we always define happiness as something that we do not possess now but aim to get in the future? What is your present state of mind? Are you happy? If not, why? Why in the world are you not happy?

When asked this question, the mind would come up with a litany of complaints: I hate my job, I don't have enough time with my loved ones, I have mounting debts, someone backstabbed me in the office, my spouse or partner is not faithful to me. And the list goes on, ad infinitum.

If you think about it, it appears that we define happiness as some ideal state where all the troubles and inconveniences of life are absent. Is this what real happiness is? Perhaps this is why heaven is such an allure to some religious minded people: there all my needs will be met and everything will be ideal and perfect. This mortal world of matter is an imperfect one, created by a lesser God perhaps, like what the Gnostics believe.

Life by definition is inconvenient. If we always envision happiness as some idealized state of perfect bliss, then we may never be happy. Happiness and gratitude goes hand-in-hand. Be grateful that you are blessed with some challenges which you have to strife hard to overcome.  To embrace challenges is to live.

I have an apartment filled with books. That makes me happy. But the apartment roof has a leakage problem, and rain-water seeped into my shelves and ruined some of my books. Does that make me unhappy? It sure perturbed me for a while, but then life is full of such inconveniences. Some people lost all their possessions to the flood recently. My problem, if it is even one, is trivial and petty. And I also know that any attachment causes pain. In this case, I certainly have a lot of attachment to my books--their destruction certainly is a cause of grief. But understanding these things make you see things in their proper perspective.

So life goes on. You have to deal with the maintenance of material possessions because it is their nature to break down. Impermanence and the Second Law of Thermodynamics rule supreme. Being able to see these truths, and seeing them in action in the world, surprisingly brings me a sense of joy.

Because we always define happiness as some sort of peak state, they become elusive. Behind the ups and downs of life there's a constant underneath--I call that the carrier wave of life. It is there to carry the signal of happiness and sadness, the fluctuations in the wave that carry 'information'. If you focus too much on the signal, you miss that state of bliss, the sat-chit-ananda of the mystics, which is that underlying carrier wave.

And what is this carrier wave that underlies life's turbulent experiences? It is that knowing, the wisdom and the truth that reveals itself when we are not distracted by the ecstasy and agony of living. Being able to tap into it gives one the foundation for--not happiness--but, equanimous joy. 

The peaks and troughs of life will come and go but the carrier wave--it is always there. And if you know how to tap into it, you are in touch with your innermost soul. Call it what you may: soul, essence, core, spirit; just remember, it's there always, and at anytime you can  tune into that carrier wave of life.

 

Present Perfect

Present Perfect

Time to blog. Time to enter into an oasis of calm. To let go of the past and the future, to remain poised in the present. To enter The Now, which is all there is, and all there ever will be.

When one is mindful of the present, events distill themselves into their pure essence. Things shine with great clarity. You see all the underlying forces that are at work and you understand why things are the way they are.

The present is always perfect. If you take a snapshot of the sea, the image you that capture shows a state of energy, frozen in time. Every individual molecule of water in the sea reacts to the tug and pull of the forces surrounding it. At the particular instant when the picture is taken, every particle is where it should be, given the configuration of forces present during that time. The shapes of the waves are perfect. It cannot be any other way.

Similarly with this moment. The thought that appears in your mind is a direct consequence of what you have been thinking in the past and what you desire for the future. Your state of mind is 'perfect'--it cannot be any other way. You deserve it.

If you are feeling fear, pressure and anxiety now, it is merely a direct consequence of your reaction to the forces around you. What are the forces exerting themselves on you? Examine your surrounding: your family, your friends, your colleagues, your neighbourhood, your environment. Why do these things affect you the way they are? Examine your attachment to them. Why do they matter to you? Perhaps more importantly: why do they matter to you the way they do now?

When you are aware of all the forces that are at work, you will know what is the best course of action. A perfect understanding of the moment generates the perfection response--what the Buddha calls "Right Action". When you don't have a perfect understanding of moment, then all you could do is react.

How does one achieve "perfect understanding"? Let go of the past, accept the present and do not fear the future. You only give power to these forces through your unconscious attachment to them. When you let go of them, all these external forces collapse. You true self shines forth.

Be completely conscious and aware of this present moment. That is all that you need to do. You can only tackle one moment at a time, one thought at a time. So experience it in its complete fullness. Experience the present, in all its glory and perfection.

The Quest for Enlightenment

The Quest for Enlightment

Since tomorrow is Vesak Day, let me choose Buddhism as the topic for today's blog entry. Vesak Day, as most Buddhists would know, commemorates three important events: the birthday, the enlightment and the passing away of Siddharta Gautama Buddha, the Indian prince who threw away a live of pleasure and luxury to search for the Ultimate Truth in the 5th century BCE.

Strangely, I never learned much about Buddhism until I started developing a deep interest in science as a teenager. It was books like The Tao of Physics, Mysticism and the New Physics, The Dancing Wu Li Masters which gave me my first real introduction to Eastern religions. Those books set me on a lifelong adventure in science, philosophy and spirituality, which I'm still pursuing to this very day.

The Buddha's teaching is simple; its essence is captured in the what is known as the Four Noble Truths:

1. The truth of suffering
2. The cause of suffering
3. The cessation of suffering
4. The path which leads to the cessation of suffering--the Eight-Fold Path.

What is the one thing about life that we all dislike? Suffering. Sickness is suffering, old age is suffering, not earning enough money is suffering, not being recognized for your achievements is suffering, being rejected by your loved one is suffering, facing Monday in the office is suffering, having a slow Internet connection is suffering...and finally, death itself is suffering.

Why do we have to suffer? What is the underlying cause of this suffering?

The Buddha, like a good doctor, diagnosed the problem: suffering is caused by craving and attachment. We suffer everytime we crave for something. What are the things that most of us crave for? Material things, sensual pleasures, intellectual pleasures and ultimately, life itself. We want to live and enjoy forever. We want to own beautiful and expensive things; we want to be praised, to be recognized, to be pampered, to be loved. We crave for the pleasure of weekends, so we suffer greatly whenever Monday approaches. (Thankfully, I'm spared this suffering because there's no difference between weekend and weekdays for me :-) ).

Now, one might ask: what's wrong with that? To live is to want, to desire, to crave, to love. What's the purpose of living, if we don't go after what we want most in life?

There's nothing wrong with that attitude. All of us certainly has the right to experience all the pleasures that life has to offer in all its intensity. Only catch is that: if you don't realize the inherent truth about suffering, when you fall, you'll fall very hard.

Every pleasurable experience is ultimately impermanent. Everything in the universe comes and goes in a wave-like motion. Pleasure comes, pleasure goes. Your life is an endless chase after pleasures. And everytime the pleasure ends, it feels painful. There's a feeling of emptiness.

That other thing is that, everytime you attain a pleasure, you will find that it is for some reason, less satisfactory than the previous experience. There's already familiarity, and the mind gets bored. So you keep on chasing pleasures of greater and greater intensity, and never seem to be able to achieve complete satisfaction in the process.

At some point, you will throw your arms up in despair and realize that all pleasures in life are ultimately unsatisfactory. It is a suffering to continue desiring all these transient pleasures. The more you think about it, the more you suffer. You have developed an attachment, a craving, or worse still, an addiction towards it.

When you come to this, you have already realized the first two Noble Truths--the hard way. If you are still in one piece, you can then attempt to cure yourself of this malady. You move on to the Third Noble Truth: to end suffering, tackle its root cause--craving.

How do we do that? Dr. Buddha gives his prescription: Noble Truth Number Four, the Eight-Fold Path--Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.

What the Eightfold Path provides is a set of guidelines on how one could reprogram one's physical and mental behaviour, culminating in the practice of meditation, where the mind is finally awakened into higher states of awareness.

The Buddha, when he was asked to summarized all his teachings into one word, was supposed to have said: "Awareness". When you are aware, you no longer associate yourself with your body, your ego, or the thinking processes that goes on in your mind. You are an awakened being of pure awareness. You are. Period.

When you have reached this state of awareness, you have no more clinging towards the world because you can see how shallow the so-called pleasurable experiences that constitute life are. You transcend all the dualities of pain and pleasure to enter a state of perpetual bliss, freed from the ceasely cycle of birth and death. The unconditioned state, the end of suffering: Nirvana.

One might ask: Isn't that like death? What's the difference between dying and achieving Nirvana? Doesn't the whole thing smell of nihilism?

Such questions are difficult to answer, because we are discussing something that is beyond the realm of ordinary experience. All extremes may sometimes appear similar but they are not. Very low frequencies of light appear as darkness to us, but so too do high frequencies beyond the ultraviolet range.

In the end, it is pointless to argue or dwell too much on such philosophical points. The essence of Buddhism is practice. Meditation lies at the heart of it. And through practice, one progresses. There's nothing more to be said beyond that.

This is emphasized very succintly in Buddha's final words as he breathed his last at the age of eighty:

"Behold, O monks, this is my last advice to you. All component things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Work dilligent towards your salvation!"

A Midweek Sermon

A Midweek Sermon

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God...
- Exodus 20:5

For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.
- Deuteronomy 4:24

Jealousy is a strong emotion; one that's certainly not pleasant. We feel jealous whenever we find ourselves not in possession of something or someone whom we feel belongs to us. If your girlfriend (or some girl you admire) goes out with another guy, you will naturally feel jealous. If your colleague gets the promotion instead of you, you'll feel jealous. This feeling arises because you think you have some special right to the object you desire. The feeling is compounded by the belief that the person who took it away from you is somehow undeserving of the prize.

First there's a desire towards something. Then an attachment. The longer this attachment is allowed to build, the stronger the feelings become. Your heart has sprouted invisible tentacles, reaching out to your object of desire, taking control, taking possession, taking ownership. These emotional tentacles wrap around the object of desire like gnarled roots around temple ruins. Imagine how difficult and painful it is remove them.

Jealousy arises from a sense of possession. All relationships have some element of possession in them. This is inevitable because no matter how noble we claim our love is, whenever we love someone, there is always some selfishness involved. We are all imperfect creatures.

You want your partner to behave the way you want them to so that you yourself will feel secure, comforted and happy. You want to mould another person's behaviour so that he or she satisfies your expectations. And you even have the audacity to claim that you are doing it because you have your partner's interest at heart!

But that's what we would normally call a "relationship". Acknowledge the fact that selfishness will arise; each party will show a certain degree of possessiveness towards the other. Good couples understand their partners' sore points. They make the necessary adjustments. Sometimes it takes a lifetime for such adjustments to be perfected. Sometimes you'll just have to accept that it's just a perpetual boxing match, with neither party ever winning or losing.

The God of the Old Testament is a "jealous" God. But He is also a forgiving God. Again and again the Israelites resorted to idolatory and incurred the mighty wrath of God. But still God forgave them and answered their call whenever they pleaded for help.

God kept his covenant with Abraham--to protect his descendants and to deliver the Promised Land to them. Marriage is also such a covenant. Pain, jealousy and rage will arise throughout the course of a relationship. But take comfort in the fact that even God gets jealous and angry. But he is also all-merciful: "For the Lord your God is a merciful God; He will not fail you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers which He swore to them." (Deuteronomy 4:31).

We can't help being jealous and angry sometimes. But let's not forget to ask ouselves why these feelings arise in first place. In such moments of quiet self-examination, the roots of our resentment will reveal themselves. Grab hold of them: They are there so that you may yank them out. What remains behind is love.

The Nature of the Effulgent Soul

The Nature of the Effulgent Soul

It's good to finally get the opportunity to blog again. So let's cut to the chase:

It's year-end, perhaps we should all slow down a little and reflect on the lessons we have learned this year before we begin another. One thing in life that I've found to be always true: there's always something to learn, always new things to discover; and whenever I stumble on some fresh insights, I marvel at the spiritual vistas that open up before my eyes.

Life is exciting because it is a never-ending school. Every lesson that is learned, elevates the soul to the next step in its evolution. I've been documenting my "progress" on this blog for more than two years now; still there are so many more insights that I have yet to put down in words. Some are difficult for me to express; if I do so, they will come out as mystical mumbo jumbo. But I will continue trying because it is this very act of putting down thoughts and insights into words that help me in my learning process.

Most men find enjoyment in sense pleasures. It is well and fine; one can probably spend one's entire life that way, shifting from one sense craving to the next. But sooner or later one will find them unsatisfactory because they never last. All sense experiences come in waves--the clinging to such waves will only bring pain.

Self-mortification and asceticism is not the answer either for they take the other extreme position--inflicting pain on oneself so that one avoids pleasure only serves to intensify one's attachment to the senses. It harms the instrument of the body, which is a necessary vehicle for the soul to progress.

The slightly more learned man finds pleasure in knowledge. He thinks of himself as "higher" than the common men and takes pride in his intelligence. I've highlighted the danger of the intellect many times in the past. Most educated men are stuck here. They think they have read enough books and come to certain conclusions and they spend the rest of their time arguing, debating and criticizing others who don't subscribe to their ideology.

The intellectual mind is a necessary instrument to progress but it can also be a great hinderance to one's spiritual progress. This hurdle has to be overcome, sooner or later. But it takes time to dissolve the intellectual ego. It takes the next great leap in the soul's evolution.

Formal religions give a certain glimpse of hope to the spiritual progress of man but it too falls short at times because they are perpetrated by less than perfect men. The true insights of religion are usually lost and get diluted when disseminated to the masses. Dogma, superstition and fanaticism take root. And so guillible are we to these things that we get attracted to religious practices that promise us material wellbeing and the guarantee of an afterlife. Like ignorant kids, we are easily taken in by acts of the supernatural, by the professed "powers" of certain "holy men". Again, another great hurdle has to be overcome.

The only true path to spiritual progress is constant practice. Kriya. ("The Malay word for work, "kerja" which comes from the same Sanskrit root, would shed light to the meaning of this word). The instruments of the mind, heart and body must be put to work. In the end no theories or dogma will bring us salvation--only the work we do in this life, from which a gradual purification of the mind, heart and body can be attained.

We are all like wound-up clocks. There's so much stored up samskaras in us. We react to the world of sense impressions and in the process, create more samskaras. As long as we have attachment towards certain sense objects, we will always react to the world and create fresh karmas. Our store of karma is always "topped up", and our souls will forever be cast out in a vast sea of senses, like flotsam, lashed about by the waves, never finding a way towards the calmness of the shore.

When I say we must "work" towards spiritual progress--we must not again see it as an external ego-driven attainment. Spiritual progress, unlike material growth is not a process of accumulation but one of "letting go". Work or kriya means constancy of purpose, being in touch with the core of one's inner being, never losing sight of the soul.

Again, when such things are put to words, they sound unnecessarily complicated. But then again, words are but imperfect expressions of the soul; they only serve to point to the Truth. Truth is ultimately, something to be perceived and experienced. It's like humour: a joke loses its impact when you try to "explain" it.

All the words that I've written mean nothing if there do not trigger that spark of realization inside, no matter how faint. It is this spark that grows slowly, day by day, gradually, turning into a steady illumination at first, and then spreading into a dazzling radiance; a radiance that is the true nature of the effulgent soul.

The Money Game

The Money Game

I met my old friend Anton in Jakarta last Friday. Anton is Indonesian Chinese but grew up from a humble background in the Karet area--a pocket of shabby dwellings in the middle of Jakarta's Golden Triangle. Whenever we meet up, he'll bring me to one of those delightful warungs which you never knew existed, sandwiched somewhere in the middle of these urban kampungs.

Anton had lost my telephone and e-mail contact but the other day he chanced upon my name in the guest register of one my clients; so he tried calling my former office and was lucky that I happened to be there. We decided to catch up over a wonderful lunch of nasi ulam with gorengan kambing somewhere in Karet.

Anton formerly worked as an engineer with a prominent local IT company but was brave enough to resign from his job to start up his own IT business. His is a story of persistence and perseverance. Over the last four years that he has been out there in the business jungle, his company has suffered enormous trials and tribulations.

Being of a trusting nature, he had the misfortune of being taken advantage of by his business partners on a number of occassions. But each time he managed to salvage whatever he could to begin anew. So far he has not achieved spectacular success yet. But with the experience and lessons that he has gained the hard way coupled with his indomitable spirit, I'm sure he'll find his pot of gold someday.

Business partnerships are like marriages--many begin with a great deal of hope and optimism but end in bitterness and anger. The closest of friends could end up as enemies. Whenever money is involved, the true nature of a person is revealed.

All of us work so hard for our money. In the process of doing so we develop a strong attachment towards it. So much of our happiness seems to be tied to money. Some people hit such depths of despair when they lose their entire fortune that they prefer to take their own life. Such is the power of attachment to money.

The businessman has to think about money everyday because the purpose of doing business is to make money. Every thought, consideration and action is tied to money; when this happens, it is very easy to be totally consumed by its apparent importance.

To treat money as evil is being unnecessarily negative. On the other hand, to consider money as the most important thing in one's life is not only negative but also dangerous. Those who do so would not hesitate to choose money over friends. Their value system has been grossly distorted.

I do business too, so I have to treat money as important--but only as a measure of how well my business is doing. Money is a metric, a score that one keeps to keep track of progress. Again, I have to resort to my favourite analogy, football, to illustrate my point. When you play football, you want to score as many goals as possible--it is never enough. Goals are fun and you celebrate extravagantly whenever you score. But when you walk out of the pitch, what matters is that you have won the match and you have thoroughly enjoyed the game.

That's how I see my work: as long as I chalk up wins--even 1-0 victories (like what Chelsea is so good at doing)--I'm happy. I'll get my 3-points and move up the league table. Sometimes when it is a 6-0 drubbing, it is a bonus. We strikers will always try to score as many goals as possible--that is a given. But ultimately you play to win, irrespective of the number of goals you end up scoring.

Making money should not be something that's so heavily-laden with emotion. Why should there be so much pride, pain, pleasure, good and evil associated with it? It is just a set of numbers displayed on the scoreboard. It shouldn't consume us to the point where we completely lose sight of what's really important in life--friends, family and the community that we live in.

So by all means play the game in the best possible spirit--playing it well and playing to win. But most important of all, we must remember, it's a game that we play to enjoy.

My Moral Gymnasium

Even if one does not belong to any religious persuasion, the so-called "Law of Karma" propounded by many faiths can be a useful model for viewing life and how we respond to it.

The Law of Karma can be intepreted in many ways. The scientifically inclined would usually point out that Newton's Third Law of Motion--"for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction"--as the physical manifestation of this law. They believe that the law continues to hold true in our more subtler realms of existence.

Those familiar with Biblical sayings would quote words such as "you reap what you sow" and "give and ye shall receive" as corollaries of the Karma Theorem.

The philosophically uninformed would pooh-pooh away Karma as being associated with reincarnation and the superstitious belief in the possibility of being reborn again as animals as punishment for sins in this life.

The word "karma" (which in its original Sanskrit simply means "action" or "work") itself has even come into mainstream use. There are many websites that offer "karma points' to contributors who are rated highly by other readers. Karma points become a system for measuring trust in the anonymous world of cyberspace.

As I write this blog entry I am swarmed with so many ideas and interesting anecdotes about karma that I believe there's enough material even for a book. Karma is a fascinating area of study indeed. But I have to be brief here. It is Monday and it's a public holiday for me. Furthermore I'm writing this in an internet cafe and the clock is ticking. (Plus I'm also hungry).

One of the paths to realise God, as expounded by Lord Krisna to Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, is known as Karma Yoga. To me it is the most interesting path of all because it does not require one to indulge in esoteric practises such as meditation or fasting. It is one which every common folk can pursue.

Swami Vivekananda explains Karma Yoga as the "Secret of Work" where one can pursue salvation by relinquishing all attachment to the rewards of one's works. It is selfless action. An act of donation need not necessarily be a selfless act if one expects recognition for it. A desire for recognition disrupts the clean karmic transaction of one's deeds and generates further karma, which could either be positive or negative.

Life is one big entanglement of karma. When we are born we are but bundles of unresolved karma. It is a reservoir of energy that's waiting to be unleashed. For those who believe in Eastern theories of reincarnation, we can consider ourselves to be carrying residual karma from our previous lives. For others, simple genetics could explain our inborn talents and quirks of behaviour.

How does one use up one's "karma points", so to speak, which we are bestowed from birth? We can choose to create works of art, commit acts of terrorism, do good social deeds or strive for personal spiritual transformation. The choice is ours. In the process we always generate fresh positive and negative karmas. All actions, all thoughts, no matter how simple, have consequences.

A religious guru will tell you that neither positive nor negative karmas are good for one's spiritual salvation. The purpose of life is to work out our unresolved karma and dissipate them so that no fresh karma is generated anymore. When one's store of karma is exhausted, the whole cycle of birth and death ceases. That will be the end of our suffering.

How does one ensure no or at least less new karma is generated in our everyday conduct? Non-attachment. Selflessness. Equanimity. Lovingkindness. Compassion. There is always one right action in every human situation. We, in our imperfection, may not always distinguish it clearly. There's always one right shot for a particular configuration of balls on a snooker table.

I am dissipating a bit of karma here by writing this blog entry. And you are feeling the karmic effects of my action by reading this. Is the effect positive or negative? I wish for neither. As Vivekananda so wisely put it: The world is a moral gymnasium for us to work out our karma. This blog is my moral gymnasium.

Corporate Renunciation

I'm writing this article from Sparq Coffee, parked comfortably behind some white round tables and a tall cup of piping-hot Americano. This is not one of my usual blogging places but I thought I'd find a new place to write so that I can get some fresh ideas.

The usual themes would inevitably come streaming into my mind as I reflect back on the week that had passed. It has been a relatively busy one but I've managed so far. I view my current job simply as an opportunity to help friends. I'm not managing people and a great part of my job is simply grunt work. But that's the beauty of it: you just solve technical issues, facilitate things and move on to the next task.  

There will always be difficult and pushy people that one encounters in the workplace. But that's alright. Everyone is just trying to survive, providing for their family and trying hard to build a decent career. I'm glad that I'm out of this corporate running wheel. There are many experiences in life that you have to go through in order to progress to the next stage in one's spiritual development. Having a career in the corporate world is actually a great vehicle to progress spiritually.

How so? In the corporate world, you are always forced into a position where you have to toe the party line. You are also put in a hierarchical power structure where the name of the game is to rise up as high as you can. In general, the higher you are in the hierarchy, the better rewarded you are financially and the more prestige you have in the eyes of everyone. Your self-worth inevitably becomes tied to the title you carry on your name card. Spouting corporate mottos and cliches become second nature to you.

All that is good, until you lose your job in a lay-off exercise. You become indignant because neither your loyalty nor your many contributions to the company seemed to have mattered. All that is quantified into a 'compensation package', based on some cold formula on HR's spreadsheet. You are required to immediately surrender your access card and laptop and be escorted out of the workplace by security. Fear, anger, shock and shame all intermingle in the tumult of the moment.

I'm lucky that I've not had to go through that kind of brutal dismissal in my 'corporate career'. I've technically been laid off before but I was at the same time offered alternate positions in the same company. I was given time to deliberate over it but I still chose to leave, because I saw it as a great opportunity to be free from the corporate rat race. It wasn't a difficult decision for me because I've always practiced non-attachment to money and position. Leaving the corporate world was a spiritual act of renunciation.

I work on the principle that, as long as you do good work, you will be rewarded, directly or indirectly.  Rewards do not always have to come in financial form or in any kind of social recognition. The experience and knowledge you gain from work are already your immediately rewards. The hardship and stress that you go through serve to strengthen your character. These alone are rewards that you should appreciate.

If you have a thriving career in the corporate world, be thankful for it. Take it as a great opportunity to test the strength of your spirituality. You are given an opportunity to practice and perfect a specific skill which someone is willing to pay for.  But remember, everything that you achieve in the corporate world can be taken away from you in an instant. Do not get your ego tied up with it. Reap the rewards of your hardwork. And when the time comes, be prepared to renounce them too.

Fire and Forget

It has been 2 weeks into the new year and I've been pursuing my daily routines as expected. I'm a creature of habit. I'm the type who works best one my own, alone. Just me give the task, I'll find a way to get it done.

In the military, they use the term 'fire and forget' for the kind of missiles which have the ability to find its target on its own. You just press the button and let the missile do the rest. Fire, and forget.

Actually the expression can be used both positively and negatively on people. If an employee is expendable, you can fire him and promptly forget about it. No loss to you. This is the opposite of the other type of 'F&F' employee whom you only have to assign a job and he'll get it done. Like yours truly. Unfortunately, ever since I've been in a position to give orders to others, I have found the negative F&F types more prevalent than the positive ones.

In software, if there's an API call or feature which allows you to fire-and-forget, that is usually a good thing. It means the system is intelligent enough to schedule and execute the task without you having to put in any extra effort to manage its execution. It means that the system has some inherent intelligence built in.

Personally, I try to apply the fire-and-forget paradigm in the spiritual realm too. I've mentioned karma yoga in many previous posts of mine. This concept is also related to the Buddhist principle of non-attachment. Do not expect to be rewarded for anything you do. But that doesn't mean you do things irresponsibly. On the contrary, a karma yogi sets his mind and body completely into the task at hand--be it a mundane task or a good deed--but simply attaches no expectation of reward to its completion: Just fire and forget.

Firing and forgetting makes life simple. Trust that the universe has an inherent intelligence to do the necessary accounting. You reap what you sow. If you do something sincerely and whole-heartedly, there's always a payoff. In a corporation--it is usually more work. The boss would obviously assign more work to those whom he can trust. There you have your reward: Trust. Guess who he's going to promote when there's a new opening?

I can hear complaints: don't these kind of workers get exploited by unscrupulous bosses too? Yes, but the situation does not last long. Nature has a way of balancing itself. A mistreated worker will inevitably find himself in another organization that recognizes his contribution. If your company does not recognize you, the industry will.

The machinations of the universe is simply too complex for our small minds to work out. In software development, you try to keep things small, self-contained and modular. I apply this principle to life in general. 'Reward' in life is a system level property. What you see are the input and immediate output. The experience of processing inputs and producing outputs is the only outcome that concerns us. If you focus on just that, the reward of work is immediate: Data, knowledge, experience.

Your job is simply to fire and forget. And let the reward missile find its way to you. Often in unexpected ways.

Amplifier of the Human Ego

My old friend PC meets up with me every now and then for coffee. Usually we catch up at our favourite cafe in Puchong. PC is an entrepreneur who has built a quite successful company providing IT and automation solutions to enterprises. Even though he is the CEO of the company, he is still very hands-on in dealing with technical issues that crop up on his on-going projects.

He seeks my advice sometimes and I would try to help him in whatever way I could. I admire PC for his energy and drive. Usually people of his age would already be thinking about retirement and enjoying the hard-earned fruits of their labour. Not PC. He has a vision of bringing his company to the next level. And unlike me, who is still happily single, he is equally happy being married with 2 children.

Like me, he does not believe in retirement. While I work as a form of spiritual exercise, he works because he has a vision for his company. He is worldly in the positive sense. But even a worldly person can also be driven by noble goals. He has a vision of transforming the world using technology for the better.

My relative 'other-worldliness' is actually not in-congruent with his temporal quest. I see technological advancement as an inevitability. The human mind is forever innovating and my friend and I are just part of this grand play of cosmic evolutionary forces. Technological advancement is a game that I partake in. The only difference is that I do not have any personal attachment to its consequences.

Some of the consequences of technology will inevitably be bad. Technology is always a double-edged sword. It is an amplifier of the human ego. Take social media for instance. Facebook and Twitter allow us to amplify our thoughts and emotions to a degree that was unimaginable before. Everyone has a global broadcasting station. Inevitably every tiny virtue or vice that lurks within the deep recesses of our minds will be magnified and projected to the world outside.

All medication has its side-effects. The side-effect of technology is cyber-bulling, pollution, spam, scams and alienation from nature. We as a global civilization has never been as connected as we are now, yet the closer we are electronically to each other, the wider the gulf it is between us when it comes to politics and religion.

Like it or not, we'll have to live with technology. Once some innovation is introduced into the world, you cannot put the genie back into the bottle. So let's learn to live with it. One thing that I take comfort in is that, all enduring systems, if not stretched to a breaking point, are self-correcting.

Society will readjust itself, put in place the necessary checks and balances and forge an optimum path forward. That, I would take, perhaps for the sake of sanity, as an article of faith, in this world where technology is as ubiquitous, and at times, equally as noxious as the air we breath in.