Insights from the Inside

Our partial lockdown, which we Malaysians refer to by the rather Kafka-esque initials "CMCO" (Conditional Movement Control Order) has been extended for another 4 weeks.  I think there will be a gradual easing of controls over the weeks to come. And we have to learn to live with it.

Because nothing much happens when you are under lockdown, the days seem short to me. I try not to listen to too much news and simply focus on my personal projects. How will we remember these lockdown days in years to come? With fondness and nostalgia? With regret and sorrow? Or will we remember it as a turning point in our lives?

To realize that everything comes to pass ultimately, can be both a source of pain or comfort to people. If you are in a difficult situation, understanding the impermanence of things gives you hope to carry on. But if you are trying hard to cling on to some material pleasure, impermanence is your enemy.  Having the wisdom to see both sides of the coin is equanimity.

Impermanence is one of the so-called 3 marks or characteristics of existence in Buddhism. The other two is unsatisfactoriness (or suffering) and no-self (or no soul). These terms, admittedly are rather imperfect translations from the original Pali of anicca, duhkha and anatta.  Most people understand impermanence. "Everything is impermanent" is an exhortation which many dislike because it seems to give a rather pessimistic view of life. But that is again viewing one side of the coin.  The fact that everything passes away also means that there's constant renewal.  That's how the universe works. Every trough is followed by a rising crest.  If you get in tuned with the rhythm of rising and falling, you'll always be able to ride the rising wave and relax along with the downward flow when things are ebbing away. 

Ironically relationships are more 'permanent' when two persons are constant meeting and parting.  The do not live in each other's presence too long to be annoyed with one another and whenever they see each other again, there's always the joy of meeting. Separation dilutes pain and hatred. Impermanence work in our favour that way. Different relationships have different natural frequencies. For some, the duration of optimal parting could be a single day, for others it could be years.  Married couples work that out naturally after a while.

The mind without equanimity will always try to cling to things that are pleasurable and push away unpleasant ones. That's what we instinctively do, even though we know that both pain and pleasure are subject to impermanence. This restless nature is the root of the second characteristic of all phemonena --that they are never satisfactory. Even the bliss found in deep meditation are temporary and ultimately unsatisfactory. It is by letting go that one progresses.  You cannot bottle a single wave from the ocean, but you can stand above it and admire the might and grandeur of the waves as the lash against the shore.

But what is an ocean? It is just a convenient term we use to refer to a body of water. We can give names and artificially assign international boundaries to them. Like the self, oceans do not exist. There's only water molecules vibrating and redistributing themselves across space and time.  We can go on and ask ourselves what are molecules, atoms, electrons, protons, neutrons or even quarks. Physics have shown us that matter and energy are interchangeable and that particles pop in and out of existence constantly, depending on its energetic state.  In other words, energy has 'no self'. There immediate you see the three marks of existence.

To live is to gain insight into these truths.  And very often, the best insights are gained in periods of difficulties--like the times we are living in now.  Yes, we are all forced to stay inside during this lockdown period. But let's go even deeper inside, and find some true insights within.