Tending a Garden of Thoughts

Rereading last week's blog post made me feel a bit more hopeful than I am now. Today, I'm writing this from a pub where I just ordered a bucket of Hoegaartens. In between sips of refreshing wheat beer, I'm typing these lines on my old MacBook Air, reflecting on the conversation I just had over lunch with M.

As always, I just wanted to offer thoughts for her to reflect upon, so that they may germinate in their own time. I do not expect her to change overnight. She values my advice, but I know it is not so easy for people to pull themselves together in an instant.

If I have a mission in life at all, it is to sow seeds; and in time they shall germinate. This blog post is a seed. If you are reading this, and for some miraculous reason, still continue reading, then my thoughts are germinating somewhere, in some foreign soil. What fruits they may bear, I do not know and do not choose to care at this point. 

I will continue sipping my cups of tea and mugs of beer, typing words into the ether, writing into the akasha, a gardener tending to its small plot of cyberspace. All I do is till the soil, sow my seeds and water them. 

I do not dictate the type of plants or trees they will grow into, let alone the types of fruits, if any, that they will bear. I'll be happy if they grow at all. Perhaps there will be a profusion of colourful flowers and voluptuous fruits someday. I carry no expectations. I simply fire off and forget. 

Who am I to advise anyone when I have been many times, a poor student of my very own teachings? Perhaps I find solace in the fact that I too am human and despite my many failings, I always know exactly why I failed. And this blog is an attempt to make sense of many of my very own failings. If no one else hears these words, I am not disappointed because, at the end of the day, I am only attempting to advise myself.

We are all fellow travellers in this journey called life. A quick search confirmed my vague memory of having written this before. On October 7, 2003, (forgive me for quoting myself for once!) I wrote in post entitled Traveller's Tales:

All of us have been put on different roads in life from the moment of our birth. No two roads are the same as in no two lives are alike. Sometimes our roads do intersect. And when people come to me for advise, I can only tell them what travelling on my paticular road has been like--two travellers exchanging notes momentarily at an intersection. All I can offer are my own traveller's tales. And then we both proceed to choose our own paths ahead.

I feel exactly the same way now. Perhaps I'll forever be rehashing the same themes in my blog; I would prefer to see them as the thematic ideas and their subsequent developments in a classical sonata form.  

Imagine all the clicks and searches you've made on the Net, which brought you, for some inevitable reason here. Perhaps our paths have crossed before in this or previous lives. This life may appear singular and precious at this point in time, from the limited vantage point of your existence now, but the tapestry of life is vast, and we are but strands in a larger motif, interwoven in space and time, 

I have drunk two bottles of Hoegaartens while typing these words. I shall complete this week's rambling of mine, having unburdened my thoughts, satiated by beer and looking forward to grabbing something simple for dinner, while I switch to my fountain pen and journal, to further my deliberations. This moment in time, these words that ring in your mind--may they find a fertile soil to germinate.