The Ultimate Game

Starting this sentence on a blank page, on a Friday afternoon, here in Cyberjaya. What do you do when you are not sure what to write? You just listen to the silence and type out the words that come into your mind.

This week has been monumental for Malaysians. Our former PM Najib Razak has to finally start serving his 12-year jail term after the Federal Court upheld his conviction for graft. Schadenfreude is never my thing, instead it got me into thinking how anyone would be able to cope with life in prison.

I often do these thought experiments myself. How would I fare, if I were to end up in prison? One would think that this is a far-fetch possibility for most people. But our former PM would have thought the same thing 5 years ago when he was in power. So it is a good lesson in humility to put yourself in the shoes of a person who ends up being incarcerated, cut off from the world and living without the usual comforts even the most ordinary citizen enjoys--a cellphone, internet connection and a simple meal at the local mamak restaurant.

It is easy to get accustomed to luxury and comfort. Losing it is a different thing. Always remember that every new comfort that you could afford to acquire, offers both pleasure and pain. The pleasure is obvious--it is what motivated you to want to have it in first place.  The obvious pain is probably the money that you have to pay to buy it.

If you could own a big country house in a quiet gated community, equipped with all the latest amenities, furnished to reflect your taste and personality, wouldn't you have a wonderful life with your family living there? That of course would be the pleasure part. The pain comes into the picture when you have to start worrying about maintenance of the place. Termites want to have a good life too. Nature has to obey the conversation of energy and the Second Law of Thermodynamics. 

You'll need to spend time finding people to fix the plumbing, mend the leaking roof, sweep the floor, remove leaves from the gutter and trim the leafy tree that leans beautifully, providing shade for your favourite garden bench.  

Is it possible for us to lean to 'enjoy' the pain? If you are a DIY person, fixing your house on weekends could a hobby which you could enjoy. That too requires you to pay with time and energy, which should have been spent playing soccer with friends or taking your kids to the theme park.

The best is to have an attitude of gratitude towards whatever that you've been blessed with and understand that they could be yanked away from you at any moment. This will ensure that you are are not too attached to your pleasures. Whatever you own is not yours. All pleasures are given on a lease. You'll have to pay rental for it.

I was so happy living in Jakarta in a small hotel room for 2 years. Some thought that was a bit of a prison cell: how could one live like that? But that room on the seventh floor was heaven to me: I came home every day from work to see my place spick-and-span. I had a bed, a desk, a closet, bathroom and TV. What more could one need in life? 

What price did I have to pay to enjoy that hassle-free life? The simplest of pain: money. Of course my company paid for it, but that was part of my compensation package and could have been given to me too in cash as an allowance. It was money that could have been saved to buy a place of my own.

How simple if every inconvenience in life can be quantified in dollars and cents. But life is never like that. We covet for things that have hidden, intangible costs. They cost us emotional and psychological pain. And that is the price of love and fame. 

Do we shy away from wanting what every normal human being yearns for--love, respect, success and companionship? No. But be clear-eyed about it. Go for what you crave for, because that is your existential purpose of life. You cannot defer the lessons that you have to learn the hard way. It is better to face them with eyes wide open and take every blow on the chin. 

After some time, you'll see how much more efficient it is to learn life's lessons directly by tackling craving itself. To let go of one's cravings is a pain which only the very strong can take.  You'll have to qualify for it first, by taking the knocks and blows of everyday life head-on. But remember, that is the ultimate game.