A Pilgrim's Project

I'm blogging earlier than usual this week as I'm on leave and have time on my hands. The good thing about not being on project related work is that you don't overwork yourself, which is a nice change for me.

When you are doing a project, the dateline is constantly looming in your head and you are naturally cautious of unexpected problems surfacing at the last moment. So you try to cover as much ground as possible so that you get a heads up of the terrain ahead.  Which means that you spend nights and weekends working and when things get done, you fuss over tiny details obsessively to make them as perfect as possible. That makes project work very stressful at times.

During a project, you are always forced to confront your weaknesses. Which is why a project is like a pilgrimage: it is both a physical journey and a catharsis. During a project there will be times when the obstacles ahead might seem insurmountable but you have to trudge on because there's no other alternative. And then you realize that, it is by the sheer power of persistence that certain problems resolve themselves. Forging ahead, doing the next logical thing may seem sensible in hindsight but when you are a traveller stranded in a strange place, you feel so lost and helpless.  But a pilgrim progresses by having faith and accepting that all obstacles along the path are part and parcel of the spiritual quest itself.

Religion emphasizes faith, which is the power of belief; and when belief is applied not as a kind of smug certainty but as an inner conviction that all obstacles can be overcome if one does not panic and simply stick to the basics of problem-solving.  And what are those basics? It's just asking yourself these questions: Where are you now? Where do you want to go? What is the next small step you could do to move towards your destination?

At any point in time, there's only one small step to make, and not the 10,000 miles that separates you from your destination. Having made that small step, you would check again, if your new vantage point reveals fresh information. If they do, make use of it. Sometimes, as the cliche goes, you need to take a step backwards to move two steps forward. 

A project plan is nothing but a route marked on a piece of map. It sets the general trajectory and provides an estimated time of arrival. But when it comes to the actual journey, the terrain itself would always offer some surprises.  It is the unexpected challenge of the terrain that makes a pilgrimage. And one is not unwise to approach a project as a pilgrim would, with faith and fortitude.

The Consummation of Time

Just a few lines at the turning of the year.

The past years have been a quest to decipher the secret of work: Work for work's sake. Work as craft and vocation. Work that at times seems insurmountable but bears the promise of redemption. Gut-wrenching work that brings out the best and worst from within.

I plough on because work is my quest, my practice and my meditation. True and honest work that makes every intake of breath a moment of carthasis.

And in the dark of night, fireworks light up the sky to mark the passing of the year and the birth of another. Time teases and entices. Time tests and tires. Time stands testament to the Divine Quest.

I wake up with a fresh resolve everyday. That doesn't change. Time may test one's faith. But Time is a devil we know; and sometimes we cower behind him to seek escape and solace. Time fuels work. Work consumes time. Through the act of consumption, one finds the ultimate consummation.

The Music of God

Are you always conscious of your own mental processes? Do you completely identify yourself with them? This is a crucial question that you need to answer as a spiritual seeker.

In our everyday lives, we think, act and react. We become the thinking and acting. Acting and thinking, are merely two ends of the same spectrum. Is that all life is about?

You have biological, emotional and intellectual needs, so you think and act in certain ways to fulfill them. Your entire life is spent doing that--fulfilling your needs: the need to eat, to procreate and to gratify your senses.

A need arises, which triggers a thought, which leads to some action being taken and the need is temporarily satisfied. The cycle repeats itself ad infinitum. That's your life.

And then you realize that you only feel happy when the needs are met. And when any of these needs are lacking, you feel unhappy.

Then you ask yourself: Whose needs are these? Does it come from the body? Or the mind? or both?

Can these needs ever be completely satisfied? If not, does that mean I can never ever be truly happy?

What then is there, if not the activities of the mind? When the mind is quelled of its "waves", what do you see? When there is no thought, is there still consciousness? Is there still "intelligence" as we know it?

Why are there so many questions and no answers?

Answers are created to satisfy the mind. If answers exist at all, they are merely brief resting points -- a comma or a semi-colon, rather than a period. After a while, you will realise that all intellectualization has to stop at a certain point.

You don't attempt to understand music; you listen and you enjoy the sheer pleasure of its melody, harmony and rhythm. Perhaps even dance to it.

If you want to truly appreciate music, you will maintain silence and try not to ruin the experience by talking at the same time.

Do you want to know what's behind the mind? If you do, then let the mental noise stop. 

Stop.

And listen.

When the mental noise stops, there is music. And the entire universe dances to it.