Of Lightness and Weight

I'm back to my usual Saturday routine of reading and blogging from a cafe. It's a good Saturday if I get to enjoy a good cup of Americano or Moroccan Mint, read a chapter from a book, write a page in my journal and post a blog article at the same time. These are my weekend rejuvenation activities. Later, if the weather permits, I shall also go for a jog in the park.

I'm thinking of just writing about random things today, something lighter than my usual ramblings about spirituality and other esoteric stuff. The mention of the word 'light' suddenly reminded of a book I read in the early nineties, by Milan Kundera, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being". It still remains one of my favourite novels because I remembered that it made a deep impression on me. 

The concept of lightness and weight is reflected in the 3 characters of the novel: Tomas, Tereza and Sabina. Tomas (played by Daniel Day Lewis in the movie adaption) embodies 'lightness'. He is a carefree womanizer. Even though he has a serious relationship with Tereza (Juliette Binoche in the movie), he also sleeps around with other women, including the Lena Olin character, Sabina. Tereza is the embodiment of weight. She is deeply in love and committed to Tomas and but disturbed his infidelities. While Sabina, the artist, flips between lightness and weight. 

It got me thinking: am I of the light or weighty type? To outsiders,  I appear light, because I'm a confirmed bachelor who does not want to be tied down to a marriage. I am not interested in starting a family. Am I afraid of the weighty commitment of marriage? 

I am certainly not afraid of weight. And by weight I mean a serious commitment to a cause or pursuit. I view marriage as a noble 'cause' that one could and should commit to whole-heartedly. If one were to get married, one should remain completely loyal to one's partner and be a devoted parent. If one can't make that commitment, don't get married. It's as simple as that. 

But that is not my reason for wanting to remain single. Choosing to remain single is actually a weighty decision: it is a commitment to use one's time and energy to pursue knowledge and understanding. 

I thoroughly respect the path of marriage, because that path is also a tried and tested path to meaning and self-knowledge. It's just not my cup of tea. It's a bit like choosing the course or subject to pursue in university. You know your own interests and inclinations and you go with it. 

When one is young, one is driven by one's biology to seek a partner for procreation. That, in our society usually leads to the path of marriage. Our genes want to make more copies of themselves. It is nature's natural impulse. But for some biological creatures, 'higher level' properties like spirituality takes on more weight. The path of procreation, to them seems to have that 'unbearable lightness of being'.

Then why not go all the way and become a monk or a priest, if one were supposedly driven by a spiritual impulse to seek knowledge? Well, that again is a matter of taste. It's a bit like preferring to work as a freelancer rather than being permanently employed by a corporation.

Being a freelance spiritual seeker, one is not bound by the doctrine of any institutionalised religion. A freelancer in any profession, requires a lot of self-discipline to be successful. It could easily be a convenient excuse for laziness and a lack of commitment.  To the seriously religious, this would appear 'light' and theirs would be the path with 'weight'. 

To be a vagabond among the multitude of faiths may seem to have that 'unbearable lightness of being', yet on the contrary, I feel it is a heavy commitment to an even higher and nobler cause--one that transcends faith. The freedom of a freelancer can be easily abused. But as long as one remain steadfast in one's clear-minded pursuit, it is a path as serious as any. One becomes a true seeker.

There is no one path that fits everyone. To live is to discover one's own distinctive path. For some, it is that of the householder. Others, it is that of a sanyasin. Weight and lightness are relative measures. What is unbearable to some, is just right for others.