The Skill of Ignorance

I'm back at my favourite cafe at a local mall, typing these words. As always, Saturday is the time for me to relax and reflect back on the week that just passed. Over the week, certain subjects will usually catch my fancy and I'll think about them as possible topics for my blog article of the week.

I believe I've written about depression before in passing and toyed with the idea about diving deeper into the subject. But I thought maybe that would be too depressing a subject to dwell on. My blog is already dull and heavy, why subject my non-existent readers to even more torture? 

Perhaps I should just write something more up-beat. Then I thought, why not write about Happiness itself? But then I remembered having written about this many times before. Reading this article I wrote 17 years ago, brings a smile back to my face because I realised that I have not changed that much.  The things that made me feel happy then still apply.

I find it easy to be happy, because I lead a simple life and am easily contented. Perhaps ignorance is bliss and I'm happy to keep it that way. The things that make a man unhappy usually revolves around three areas: relationship, career and money.  Maybe it's because my seemingly indifferent attitude towards all three things that made me less susceptible to unhappiness.

Romantic relationships is something that carry more importance when one is much younger. I still possess the bohemian impulses of youth but I'm way past the stage in life when finding a life partner is the be-all and end-all of existence. I'm not cynical about romantic relationships either and even admire couples who could forge a long lasting and loving bond throughout their lives. Both parties evolve and learn to appreciate each other in a much deeper way, having outgrown the euphoric stage of romantic love. I enjoy the happiness of others, like how I enjoy a beautiful garden which I do not own.

Romantic love is a bit like durians to me. I enjoy eating durians and every time I eat it, I thoroughly enjoy the experience. But I do not crave nor go crazy about this King of Fruits like most Malaysians. I can understand why people lust for it. But I am happy that I have not acquired such an addiction. Is my life any less meaningful because I don't go nuts over durians? Again, I'm ignorant about how much less I'm enjoying life compared to the lucky durian lovers. I wallow in that bliss.

When is comes to career, I'm even more ignorant. Thinking back, I've never consciously looked at whatever job that I was doing as a 'career'. I've never consciously thought of how I could impress my superiors so that I can move up the promotional ladder. This is because I often view success in the corporate world with a bit of wry amusement. This is not to lessen the achievements of anyone who has worked hard and thrived in the corporate world. I salute them for their drive and ability.  

Work to me is like playing a game of football. You play for the enjoyment of the game. I play hard and will even try to score. At the end of the day, even if you win the final with a score of 5-0, it's still just a game.  The thrill and challenge of a project, the camaraderie of friends and colleagues--these are the things that matter more to me. The experience and the friendships forged are the real rewards of a corporate 'career'. 

I've had periods in my life when I had to tighten my belt a little because my finances were low. But because my commitments as a bachelor is a lot less compared to those with a family (or families) to support, I've never exactly been in a dire straits situation before. In any case, I've always tried to reduce my wants to adjust to the changes in my income. I've always considered luxury as a bit of a 'handicap'. I enjoy staying at luxurious 5-star hotels and one could get used to it, demanding the same impeccable service everywhere. But once that becomes a necessity in your life, it becomes a handicap. You can't stay in a budget hotel anymore, thus limiting your choices in life. 

You see, my indifference or ignorance in matters related to relationships, career and money make me less susceptible to unhappiness. This is not to say I'm never down. But every time I do, I know it's caused by another petty matter in one of these areas. Get over it because it's rarely a matter of life or death. The laws of nature work both for and against you: happy states never last forever, and neither do unhappy ones. The amplitude of life fluctuates between a trough of -1 and a crest of +1. Always cultivate the skill of of ignorance to keep the average at zero. It is there that bliss is found.