The Happy Hours of Life

I decided to blog from Chilli's, at Citta Mall today. Initially I had wanted to sit outdoors but that section was closed and so I settled in into the cool-comfort of high-table seat inside.  These are my thoughts today, in between sips of the house red wine and spoonfuls of their nice spicy beef soup.

I'm looking forward to a new phase of life next year when I should be able to pursue more of my personal projects instead of being tied down to a nine-to-five job. That was how I used to live before the pandemic, but I had chosen to take a regular work-from-home job out of curiosity during the Covid lock-down. Having been out of the corporate rat-race for more than a decade, I wanted to find out more about the tools and processes used by multinationals today.

 I did learn a lot from the stint but I also found that the experience of getting regular income, with all the executive perks had diminished my appetite for risks. I needed to cast myself out into the world again, to regain my survival instincts. Fate, apparently has conspired in such a way that the opportunity for such an adventure has opened up again. The question is: do I still have what it takes to regain my old touch?

My mental agility and acumen, I'd like to believe, is as good as ever, if not better. There are certain advantages that age bestows upon us: most notably, wisdom. One's youth is often blessed with a lot of energy; but unfortunately they are also wasted on foolish endeavours. But then again, it is also the foolhardiness of youth that brings out the sage of later years.

The bane of advancing age is cynicism. One should be very careful with the preponderance of pessimism that often accompanies the onset of years. Often it is simply a defensive stance taken by us to deflate the enthusiastic endeavours of the young, simply to shield us against the pain of our exclusion.

Cognisant of our tendency to hide behind the veneer of respectability that comes with age, I am always reminding myself of the idealisms which had forged my growing years. How different am I today, compared to who I was 20 years or even 30 years ago?

One thing's for sure: my appetite for knowledge has never diminished. I would even say that it has intensified.  This lust for understanding has surpassed all other yearnings that are of the flesh and I see that as a positive development. 

Like the Gnostics, I truly believe that salvation is to be found via Gnosis, or knowledge of the divine, which one has to pursue not only with the yielding softness of faith, but also the bold thrusts of reason and intellect. Knowledge is indeed power but can this subtle power be transformed into a force that moves and moulds the material world?

Does one inevitably seek a blissful retreat from the world for fear of not being able to stomach its vicissitudes? These are the ruminations that occupy my mind on this hot Saturday afternoon,  perched behind a high-table in a TexMex restaurant. Do I still possess the tang and spice of my passionate youth? Or has all that been distilled into the wine-like essence of maturity?

I don't know. Since, it's already 3pm now, I shall continue mulling over them with some Happy Hour beers.